More Excuses for Boston Murdering Mom
August 10th, 2007 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
Background: Apologies for violent women are standard in the mainstream media--somehow it's never her fault, and is usually a man's fault. This time it's the Boston Herald--a conservative newspaper--making excuses for a murderous mommy. Angela Lopez murdered her two children, but she isn't bad--she's a "lost soul" who is "in the throes of despair" because--you guessed it--she is the victim of "abusive men." To learn more, see my blog post Boston Woman Murders Her Two Kids--and It's Men's Fault
First we had an apologia from Jessica Van Sack and Michele McPhee--A life in turmoil: Mystery shrouds slain kids’ murders (Boston Herald, 7/31/07). Now in "Signs ignored too long: Troubled moms unravel despite cries for help", Boston Herald columnist Peter Gelzinis tells us that the poor murdering mommy was (sigh) a "single mother in free fall, a woman unable to break from a cycle of abuse that began in childhood." A 30-year-old woman murders her two children and we sympathize because she (allegedly) had a bad childhood. (To Gelzinis's credit, he does redeem himself to some degree in a subsequent article--stay tuned).
Signs ignored too long: Troubled moms unravel despite cries for help
By Peter Gelzinis
Boston Herald, 8/1/07
The tragedies do not mirror each other exactly. Yet, the sad parallels between the sagas of Angela Lopez and LaVeta Jackson seem all too hauntingly familiar.
Police would come upon each scene in the heat of July, five years apart almost to the day. What awaited them in both cases were the bodies of dead children, along with the added horror of their young mothers whose lives had come apart in a lethal burst of anguish and rage.
Sunday night in Roslindale, the cops were forced to dislodge an air conditioner only to find 10-year-old Dennis Burgos Jr. and his 13-year-old sister, Jasmine, dead in their beds. Nearby was the blood-soaked body of their mother, Angela Lopez, 31.
Homicide investigators have interviewed Lopez, but sources believe she attempted to take her own life by tearing at herself with a knife after allegedly killing her son and daughter. It is unclear whether the children were smothered to death or poisoned.
Yet what’s quickly emerged in the aftermath of Sunday night’s grim discovery is a portrait of a single mother in free fall, a woman unable to break from a cycle of abuse that began in childhood. Nor could she conceal the truth that her life was slipping off the rails from family and friends.
Lopez’s neighbors knew that a chain of events, beginning with the death of a relative, had appeared to overwhelm her. Some tried to offer comfort by assuring her things would change and she would find that perfect someone with whom she could share her life.
On Friday, as she walked away from a job at Children’s Hospital, she left co-workers rattled by her parting words: ‘I love you all,” she told them, “and I love my kids, and that is all you need to know.”
People feared she might be straying close to the edge, but by the time a call was made to the police, it was too late for the children who were her life, according to those shattered friends.
For a time, Angela Lopez’s two children had come under the umbrella of the DSS. But like LaVeta Jackson, some five years before, Angela had convinced social workers that she was up to the challenge of supporting herself and taking care of her children.
In LaVeta Jackson’s case, her schizophrenia appeared to be brought under control with a diet of medication.
“What happened in LaVeta’s case,” recalled one DSS source, “is that she stopped taking her medication and tried to hide it from her family believing the agency would come in and take her kids away from her. Unfortunately some of the family were convinced of that, too.
“Sadly, too many people come to believe that DSS is a children’s agency, when the bulk of what’s done on a daily basis is directed at trying help people become good parents. And LaVeta came to understand this. She was extremely responsible, even telling us at one point that she didn’t think she was ready yet to regain control of her children.”
By the time the police arrived at her in-laws’ home in Dorchester, LaVeta Jackson had already slit the throats of her 6-year-old daughter, Sydney and 3-year-old son, Scott. The knife she used to begin killing herself, she turned on a police officer who had no choice but to shoot her.
“Suicide by cop” was how one source remembered it. “It was one of the hottest days of the summer and whatever demons had returned to haunt that poor woman, had completely taken hold of her.”
Could a 51a or an earlier phone call to the police averted a tragedy in either case? Could two young mothers who waged unsuccessful battles against despair and loneliness be saved from drowning?
It’s hard to say. But the signs were there for people to see. The cries for help may not have been loud enough, but they were constant.
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August 10th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Are you kidding me? A lifetime of abuse? Well given how loosly defined abuse is these days I can see that argument. Isnt it a wonder that no matter how hard things get for fathers, even to the point where they might kill themselves or even others, they never kill their own children anywhere close to the number that women do.
What about all the fathers suffering from depression who dont have the luxury of seeing their kids everynight?
I notice ther is still no mention of these childrens fathers - and that can only mean one of two things
1 She didnt know who the father was, unlikely as the media would have painted an abandoned pregnat tag on her as well
2 The guy is responsible, hard working and never been in trouble - and the only way to deal with that is to act as if he doesnt exist at all
Cause if he was and kind of an ass he would have been demonized already.
And while were on the subject of suicide any one hear that Kelly Clarckson song their playing everywhere these days? "Because of You" Some guy dies or kills himself - the song isnt clear. What is clear is the guy cried himelf to sleep every night while the girl did nothing and now that he is dead and she feels alone and afriad - IT IS HIS FAULT that she feels that way
Is it just me or is this getting worse??
August 10th, 2007 at 3:02 am
The reason the story is focused the way it is has to do with the awards given out to journalists. Bleeding heart women's -oriented stories win. Hard facts don't win. And the stuff we talk about in this blog is so politically incorrect in the world of writing, no editor would even allow it to be submitted for an award. The quest for awards drives the agenda.
Anyway. its the awards committees we should blame. They are often populated by older, wealthy white women, who can only relate to stories about women, animals and nature, and if all three are being "victimized" all the better. They also have quotas and make sure to hand out half the awards to women writers, regardless of merit.
I once won an award. I wondered why. I did groundbreaking stories on technological stuff, and had never gotten one, because I'm deliberately politically incorrect and refuse to marinate my stories in mushy "emotion." When the award arrived, I noticed my first name was spelled with an "i." "Toni." They thought I was a woman! That's why I won. They learned their lesson after than when they apparently got told I was a man.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:18 am
No lujlp, it's not you. And yes, it is getting worse. And yes, it really doesn't matter what the facts are. This is why our kids are the last in every category of learning among the industrialized nations and addicted to drugs and obese and violent and lost. "Mommies". The American brand anyway. They think they are God's gift to our children and yet most of them couldn't raise mice. Most of these Amerikan women are just downright nuts. Their parenting skills are in the negative numbers but the courts can't even fathom fathers rights and the steady hand he brings to raising kids as part of the issue. Lies? Part of the Amerikan woman's mantra. Then, when they can't find the "perfect one" as notefd in the story above to live their life with they slaughter the kids and we're fed this silly litany of words about their saga of woe. Pish posh. They're murderers.
But, as we can't even think of "mommy" as evil despite the continued reality of what is going on around us daily. And who, by the by, is the perfect one for these largly fat stupid Amerikan females? Someone who works three jobs and slaves to make a decent ome for these ungrateful fat losers? Only to hear "I cheated because he's always working" nonsense. Screw em. These kids are dead because the mothers are stupid fat lazy women who think men owe them everything they think they deserve.
August 10th, 2007 at 7:02 am
Blimey!
Well of course she had a rough childhood, most criminals do! That's the thing with humans, you can trace everything we do to either nature or nurture. Free will is just a checking system.
But that is irrelevant! She murdered her children. And she deserves neither sympathy nor understanding.
No doubt the author would have blamed the husband if he'd even slightly stepped out of line. (eg. not been there at the time of the murder) However, because he is probably an honest, decent man, he is not mentioned. He gets no sympathy for losing his family, which to most dads, is the most precious thing they have.
August 10th, 2007 at 10:24 am
lujlp-
F#%@$#@ YOU! I've got that song stuck in my head now :P
It's simple, men are punished, women are analyzed. Why is this true? Because we are the 3rd and 4th generation of men to grow up without our fathers. Our mothers were home, our fathers were not. Previous to this social change, young men would work with their fathers out in the field, and learn how to be a "real man" from a positive role model. Now, we have only the model of masculinity our mothers impressed upon us, and that model includes "the woman (mom) is always right"
August 10th, 2007 at 10:26 am
The abuse excuse has become quite tiresome. Even if one were to concede that being abused as a child affects the way one behaves, why would that be an excuse to murder children? Are not most child abusers victims of abuse as well? Would not the same logic applied to murderous mothers also apply to anyone who abused them?
I cannot give anyone who murders children any kind of sympathy when that person refuses to take responsibility for her actions. The incessant coddling of violent women only puts more children at risk and it is a slap in the face to their victims.
August 10th, 2007 at 11:01 am
The mothers had the ability to choose.
These children didn't.
Yet the media feels sorry for the mothers. The media asks for outreach programs for more mothers.
Did they forget the children?
August 10th, 2007 at 11:25 am
I cannot give anyone who murders children any kind of sympathy when that person refuses to take responsibility for her actions. The incessant coddling of violent women only puts more children at risk and it is a slap in the face to their victims.
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I posted this on another board (on another topic) but I think it's important to note it's application here:
Here's the crux of my argument:
Men are not better than women.
Women are not better than men.
Well duh, you say? There's a hidden problem with the above statements. That hidden problem has to do with standards of behavior.
People don't like to be wrong. People will be wrong regardless, either via mistake or a moment of weakness. People will attempt to find reasons for why they were wrong, believing that they are inherently good. This is where gender comes in.
A man will get irritated with what his wife says and smack her arm. Society views this action as "dead wrong" and therefore he feels shame. This shame will hopefully help him control himself better the next time he has the urge.
A woman will get irritated with what her husband has to say and smack his arm. Society will give excuses such as "he wasn't afraid of her based on that" or "she couldn't really hurt him anyways" and she will feel vindicated in her action because she has a valid excuse for her behavior. That means the next time he says something she'll smack him again because "he deserves it". The fault transfers from her act of violence to his speech since her act of violence is condoned by society.
That is just one example. Remember now, that men and women are no better than each other. That means the large percentage of each gender will behave as socitarial norms dictate, with a smaller grouping behaving to a higher standard and another small grouping behaving to a lower standard. Now, again, realize that the behavioral standards for women are (far?) below the standards maintained for male behavior.
That is why when I say "women behave worse than men" I'm not calling women lesser people. They are reacting to their environment in the same way that men do. It is just that the environment in which they live holds them to a lower behavioral standard of responsibility.
P.S. since socitarial is not a real word, what should I use in it's place? Society's ?
August 10th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
There is a strong correlation between being abused and later committing violent crimes. History of abuse is a common legal defense of both male and female perpetrators, who have been abused in the past by both men and women. Here are just a few examples from the Internet of men who used "abuse" as a reason for having murdered:
"Joseph L. Druce, charged with murdering defrocked priest John J. Geoghan, was severely beaten by his father as a child and was sexually abused, beginning at age 8, by three other adult men, including a neighbor and a man with a religious affiliation, according to an investigator hired by Druce's lawyer."
"Defense attorneys in the penalty phase of the Alejandro Avila trial have called family members who have testified that he was beaten, taunted and sexually abused in his childhood. An expert witness testified that childhood abuse of this nature to a young boy could possibly cause him to become an abuser as an adult."
"The ACT Supreme Court has heard a Chisholm man convicted of killing his children's mother was abused as a child.Steven Wayne Hillier, 41, was found guilty in November of murdering his former partner, Ana Louise Hardwick, at her Isabella Plains home...This morning the court heard Hillier was abused by his step-mother as a child and was threatened with knives."
"John DeBack, Jr., was charged with first-degree intentional homicide for the April 2004 murder of his uncle, a convicted child molester who John DeBack said sexually abused him when he was a child." (In this case the killer accused his victim, his uncle, of having molested him.)
August 10th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Annie-
Read my previous two posts and put them together.
Men may have used the "I was previously abused" excuse, but how many of those led to acquittal?
August 10th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Demonspawn - I love to see that there are still people who pay attention to things like grammar, vocabulary, and semantics. As to your question, it is a principle of linguistics that language simplifies as society becomes mopre civilized. Put in plain English, try "societal."