Sad Parental Alienation Case from the 1940s
January 23rd, 2007 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesOne of my father's favorite people is Bill Veeck. Veeck was a 1940/50s baseball owner known for his important role in desegregating baseball, as well as his flamboyant publicity stunts. Veeck signed Larry Doby, the first black player in the American League. Some sources say he attempted to integrate the major leagues as early as 1943 but was thwarted by league officials.
I guess my father liked him partly because they had two things in common--baseball and a disgust with segregation. My grandfather owned a produce business and as a child my father enjoyed talking with some of his father's black employees. Much to the annoyance of my grandmother, he soon became outspoken on the subject of civil rights. He would tell his mom that blacks were as good as whites and my grandmother would wring her hands in frustration.
One time, when my dad was 18, some students in his college dormitory wouldn't speak to him because he argued for full integration. He was also labeled a "communist" for his views. I guess it's an example of how much America has changed.
Anyway, the other day I was reading Veeck's 1962 autobiography Veeck as in Wreck, and Veeck mentions something in passing which I find very interesting. Veeck's wife divorced him, in part because she "didn't like the people Veeck associated with"--baseball men and journalists.
Unlike other owners, Veeck was not a rich man and had no independent fortune, so when his wife divorced him he was forced to sell the Cleveland Indians--who he had built into a championship team--in order to pay her divorce settlement. I don't want to blame her--Veeck may well have been over-involved in his work, as men sometimes are, and Ms. Veeck needed money to raise their three kids.
Nonetheless, there is something Veeck mentions in passing in his book which is extremely sad and revealing. His wife and he had split up, and she nixed an attempted reconciliation. Always a fan favorite, in 1948 Veeck was the toast of Cleveland as his Indians had won the American League pennant for the first time in three decades.
Veeck's Indians had a 3-1 lead in the World Series, and played the deciding game 5 in Cleveland. There were 86,288 paid in attendance--at that point the largest crowd in the history of organized baseball. Veeck's oldest son, Will Jr., was 11 years-old and lived with his mother and two siblings, but Bill Veeck brought him to the park to watch the game.
At the game Bill turned to his son and said "Isn't this great? Did you ever see such a tremendous crowd? Did you ever see anything in your life like this?"
Bill Veeck's 11 year-old son replied:
"How come you couldn't have been a scientist or something I could have been proud of?"
What an extremely unusual reaction for an 11 year-old boy in that situation. I wonder who taught him how to think like that?
Veeck writes that his son later went to MIT and became a teacher, and that "I'm an admirer of his, unfortunately from a distance."
Veeck was one of the most adored and popular figures in all of baseball history--any idea why his son would be so hostile to him?
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January 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Wow, Glenn, why wouldn't you blame her? She divorced him and allowed his son to grow up alienated from him despite his achievements.
Another famous alienated parent that many are unaware of (and the evidence is considerably stronger) is Albert Einstein.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:05 pm
This is a very sad story indeed but I would not blame the mom either. There is just not enough evidence that she did anything wrong. (Affair with another man or any other indication) I never like divorce but I often time ask myself in situations where women have to raise young children alone especially at that time...it could have been that there were underlying reasons that she could no longer tolerate. It is not easy being a single mom now and I could not have imagined doing so during the 1940's.
Often time children do want parents by their side. Whether dad is a doctor, a traveling salesman or some other career which children compare that the father is not home in the manner that they would like. They do not realize that someone has to earn the bread and to do so there is often sacrifice. They just want mommie and daddy so it would be unfair for anyone again to attribute that to the mom.
A family torn apart is rough which is in essence why so many people stay together. It is almost a curse word now a days when couple say that they stayed together for the children. To each their own but in looking down the line you have to look at your children and your grandchildren. It was always so comforting to go visit my grandparents and to know I was loved by each them as I visited their home together. No...let's visit grandma for Christmas and let's visit Grandpa for Thanksgiving. They were together. In this day of multiple degrees, internet and advanced technology perhaps they had it figured out the best...to maintain family for the generations to come much more than the selfish "I got to be happy" self indulgence. ESPECIALLY if there is no abuse in the home.
February 28th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
[...] the children a negative impression of the father–to read one example, see my blog entry Sad Parental Alienation Case from the 1940s. Sometimes, however, the alienation takes the form of coaching or brainwashing the children into [...]
August 16th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
[...] Background: Parental Alienation occurs in a divorce or separation when one parent, usually the custodial mother, turns the children against the other parent, usually the noncustodial father. Often this alienation takes the form of giving the children a negative impression of the father--to read one example, see the second part of my blog entry Sad Parental Alienation Case from the 1940s. [...]