Feminists Call My Chicago Tribune Column 'Hateful', 'Virulent'
January 25th, 2007 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesFeminist writers/bloggers Amanda Marcotte and Catherine Price aren't fond of my recent column Women don't want men? Ha! (Chicago Tribune, 1/21/07). Marcotte called the article "hateful" and Price dubbed it "virulent" and "remarkably harsh."
Both of their reactions fit in well with one of my criticisms of feminism--when we criticize men, it's fine, when we criticize women, it's sexism. And--no surprise--neither Marcotte nor Price actually dealt with the substance of what I said in the column.
Marcotte always assumes that if a wife has ended a marriage (which is how most marriages end), it's because the marriage was an "unequal partnership" where the wife had to do all of the work for some lazy, sexist slob of a guy. My co-authored column put forth research showing that this isn't true--that as a whole the labor is divided equally in American households, when work both in the home and in the labor market is considered.
My column's other point--that women are sometimes excessively critical of men--was also not meaningfully challenged by either Marcotte or Price. We wrote:
"Nobody would dispute that, in selecting a mate, women are more discerning than men. This is an evolutionary necessity--a woman must carefully evaluate who is likely to remain loyal to her and protect and provide for her and her children. If a man and a woman go on a blind date and don't hit it off, the man will shrug and say 'it went OK.' The woman will give five reasons why he's not right for her.
"A woman's discerning, critical nature doesn't disappear on her wedding day. Most marital problems and marriage counseling sessions revolve around why the wife is unhappy with her husband, even though they could just as easily be about why the husband is unhappy with the wife. In this common pre-divorce scenario there are only two possibilities--either she's a great wife and he's a lousy husband, or she's far more critical of him than he is of her. Usually it's the latter...
"Yes, there are some men who make poor mates, but not nearly enough to account for the divorce epidemic and the decline of marriage. While it's easy to blame men, many of the wounds women bear from failed relationships and loneliness are self-inflicted."
Reasonable people can disagree whether I'm right or wrong. Instead, Marcotte and Price do what feminists usually do--rather than deal with an argument, they instead give it a nasty label like "Hateful" or "Remarkably harsh" and declare the case closed.
(Note--I actually like Marcotte personally, though I'm not sure the feeling is mutual. There are actually many feminists--including Martha Burk, Helen Grieco [head of California NOW], Gloria Allred, Lynn Gold-Bikin [feminist family law attorney], Michael Kimmel, Hugo Schwyzer, child support advocate Debbie Kline, Donnalee Sarda of the anti-father advocacy group Justice for Children, and others--who I like personally, despite their misguided views. Marcotte's writing is often entertaining and witty, though she is, of course, massively unfair to men. Amanda was my guest on His Side with Glenn Sacks a couple years ago for our show Families and Fathers Conference 2005: Civil Rights Leaders or Reactionary Patriarchs?).
(Note #2--Price criticizes my column for being "wittily titled 'Women Don't Want Men? Ha!'. I assume Ms. Price is aware that columnists don't write the headlines that appear on their stories. My original title for the piece was the admittedly more bulky "Men Blamed for Marriage Decline but Women's Relationship Wounds Often Self-Inflicted.")
Read Marcotte's views at Conservative reaction: Get married because we say so! and Price's at Overcritical women and their excessive expectations.
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January 25th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Ms. Marcotte: "If a woman divorces a man because she feels her needs aren’t being met, the only logical conclusion is that she doesn’t know what her needs are and some men’s rights activists can educate her. "
Let her meet her needs. As fellow human beings, we can offer advice about how to be happy. However, a mother must not be allowed to use the bias of the family courts to take more than half custody away from a capable, willing and loving father.
January 25th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Dear Glenn,
After reading your recent column in the Chicago Tribune "Women don't want men??....HA!!" I just had to track you down and thank you for speaking on behalf of all men and helping to share the WHOLE TRUTH and tell the WHOLE STORY. Personally, I'm getting tired of hearing only one half of the story....The woman's side.
Your article was right on target. I am 47-years old and have been listening to women blabber on endlessly about how sorely deficient the men are in their lives. This has been told so many times before that I swear this has become an accepted truth in our culture. In order to verify this, all you have to do is look at any TV sitcom and/or movie and see how the men-of-today are portrayed as compared to the woman. The men are now the thoughtless, bumbling, fools and the woman are smart and sexy and tolerant of their men. The truth is, men don't stick up for themselves because up till now they have hardly cared about the static noise going on around them. In my mind, this static noise is now becoming much too harsh and unfair and frequent. As you have pointed out on your web-page, if this negative image had been reversed, women would be enraged and extremely vocal about it. The double standard against men does now exist and in my mind, needs to be corrected. I can't thank you enough for doing your part to educate men (and woman) about this double standard and telling our side of the story and telling the WHOLE TRUTH.
I can think of plenty of female leaders who are doing their part in educating woman about "the double standard" that exists in our world today. And I greatly respect that women do support each other. Having smart, capable, enlightened woman in our lives is good for all of us.
But this said, it is becoming over-due that men start becoming aware of the "double standard" that exists in our world today as well. And that is, woman have gone too far with their male bashing. Just like you, (and Jeff Leving), I see it more-n-more that men are getting the short end of the stick. And from what I can see, it's solely because woman whine, bitch, moan, complain, cry about their plight. In other words, the squeaky wheel is getting all the spare oil. Thank you so much for counter balancing some of this wrongful female rhetoric. When I hear the words, "You go girl"...I am now starting to think..."yeah..go!!...please go!!". Us men have PLENTY of our own to tolerate in woman. There is no bad-guy or good-girl in the Battle of the Sexes. To me, it's clearly half-n-half. But the simple fact remains, men do NOT get nearly the air-time that woman do.
In writing this, please do NOT think for one minute that I hate women. On the contrary, I adore women and firmly believe that they are God's gift to man. In fact, because I am single, most of my spare time is spent with women. But this said, I'll be damn if I am going to give one single shred of my dignity and self respect and self image just because they feel they have been slighted and are therefore waging a smear campaign against men. I can easily think of a equal number of woman, (as men) who are thoughtless, self-centered, manipulative, cunning, etc, etc. It serves no purpose to portray men this way and/or take careful aim at each other. But if this is the war they want....I say bring it on!!! The work you are doing is much appreciated by me. Thanks again for being our general.
Best Regards,
Bret Garrison
bretgarrison@mac.com
January 27th, 2007 at 3:21 am
Glenn, I'm not exactly sure what you accomplish by being so polite. The individuals you're refering to certainly don't feel a need to pull their punches when it comes to you. The various feminists you claim to like personally do not return the favor: they will call you all kinds of derogatory names (woman-hater, misogynist, etc) without finding ONE quote to support the claim. That's slander, my friend. It's out and out lying. They slander you and never think twice. They have no bones about slamming you whatsoever and they need to be called-out onto the carpet for their behavior. I wouldn't have used a word like "witty" to describe Marcotte's humor, something like "potty-mouthed and infantile" is more appropriate.
I understand that, being a gentleman, you feel the need to take the high road and get the Good Sport Award. Unfortunately there IS no Good Sport Award. I'm sick and tired of seeing their ilk heaping casual abuse on you with utter impunity.
January 28th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Hello Glenn,
I have to agree with Sangjun. Perhaps Amanda M. doesn't have the chops to be as vicious to your face as she is in her blog, but that gets her no points on my scorecard. Her MO, as you know, is to cite someone who has the audacity to express a viewpoint contrary to hers, and then tell the reader what this person REALLY means, what their thought process ACTUALLY is, and what their evil motivations are. All of this omniscience is expressed in the most righteous, superior, yet sarcastic tone imaginable. She has discovered that when she can dismiss unpleasant ideas and facts by discrediting the bearer, she has no need to actually defend her own beliefs. The sad part is that she seems to think that she IS defending them! Note that her blog consists almost entirely of wordy ridicule of persons with whom she disagrees, with a touch of strawman attacking for variety. Perhaps this is "progressive intellectualism" in action.
stanton
PS. I am SO glad that you have started a blog. I would very much enjoy seeing some of your feminist friends visit from time to time for a healthy exchange of viewpoints, just as on your radio program. Keep up the great work!
February 2nd, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Summary: if a woman divorces a man it just goes to show what a jerk he is; if a man divorces a woman it just goes to show what a cad he is.
Case closed.
"The most disturbing thing about feminism is that a certain way of behaviour by a female is labeled positively as 'liberated' and 'empowered' while the exact same behaviour displayed by a man is labeled as selfish and irresponsible." - Cassius
February 8th, 2007 at 10:16 am
[...] Previous reactions to the piece can be seen at Chicago Tribune: My Column Tries to ‘Scare Women into Marrying Jerks’ and Feminists Call My Column ‘Hateful’, ‘Virulent’. [...]
August 28th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
What a bunch of lying, entitled, sanctimonious pieces of human garbage.