Venus: The Dark Side on Female Sociopaths (Part II)--'She abuses the children by depriving them of their father, because she’s punishing him'
January 15th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
"So obsessed with what she wants, she will ignore or neglect her children while claiming the opposite. She plays the martyr and expects constant attention. Her demanding behavior almost guarantees it.
"If she is divorced, she may have grown to hate her ex-husband more than she loves her children. She abuses the children by depriving them of access to their father, because she’s punishing him for not delivering what she wanted in a husband. She refuses to consider that she played any role in the marriage break-up."
There are male sociopaths and there are female sociopaths, but female sociopaths are rarely discussed. In Venus: The Dark Side, authors Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary discuss this important subject in depth. Sheppard and Cleary write:
"She believes she is entitled to everything she desires. With an overdeveloped sense of self, working for what she wants is an inconvenience. Hard work is for everybody else. She wants the fast buck and the short-cut to success. Becoming a social parasite is quicker than toiling for anything. And when she pulls it off, she can then congratulate herself on cheating, conning or defrauding others who may be more intelligent or successful than she is.
"Her every whim must be accommodated. Humility is alien to her. She is self-centered, opinionated and over-confident, and expects to be pampered and treated as superior.
"She has possibly dabbled at shoplifting to feed her sense of entitlement for whatever she wants and for the ‘buzz’. So obsessed with what she wants, she will ignore or neglect her children while claiming the opposite. She plays the martyr and expects constant attention. Her demanding behavior almost guarantees it.
"If she is divorced, she may have grown to hate her ex-husband more than she loves her children. She abuses the children by depriving them of access to their father, because she’s punishing him for not delivering what she wanted in a husband. She refuses to consider that she played any role in the marriage break-up.
"She expects her man to do what she wants to prove his ‘commitment’ to her, and will try to control all aspects of her victim’s life. She insists on choosing his friends, making him account for every moment of his day, making decisions for him, telling him what he can and cannot wear. She may even insist on watching her victims go to the bathroom.
"Some women are genuinely unaware of the emotional pain and suffering they cause, but others know exactly what they are doing. They derive pleasure from putting others down and humiliating friends, colleagues, lovers and ex-partners. For some, revenge consumes their lives.
"If there are any times when you start to suspect that you are being used, she is equally skilled at making you feel bad for thinking such thoughts. Mind you, she will probably never tell you explicitly that you are wrong, except perhaps if you confront her. She may feign shock and surprise that you could possibly think such unkind thoughts.
"Unreliability goes hand-in-hand with her desire to control. Things always seem to crop up at the last minute making it ‘impossible’ to do what she promised. She is often brilliant at providing rational excuses rather than reasons for her behavior. She makes promises about a bright future but they are always promises of ‘jam tomorrow’.
"You find, too, that these women are stimulation junkies known for sexual promiscuity, gambling and taking illegal recreational drugs. If something gives the sociopath an adrenaline rush or makes her feel good, even in the short term, she’ll probably give it a try or become addicted to it. This could lead to high-risk behavior, with a reckless disregard for her own safety and that of others. She rarely thinks about the possible or probable consequences of her actions."
Also see Venus: The Dark Side--Female Sociopaths (Part I)
(The above contains excerpts from Venus: The Dark Side, Copyright ©Roy Sheppard and Mary T Cleary 2007. www.VenusTheDarkSide.com.)
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January 15th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Oh, come on Glenn, other than that and using government as an instrument of violence and death against their men and thereby their children, women aren't all that violent compared to men. After all, 495 congresspeople couldn't be wrong. Oops, that's right, many thought they'd have to change their underwear if they didn't vote that men are vastly more violent.
Mike
January 15th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Sadly, this behavior is far too common in women. Why is that? The world was a better place when men ran it.
January 15th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
It almost sounds to me like a case of borderline personality disorder or parental alienation syndrome. I wonder if these two "disorders" are essentially the same thing, or perhaps at least highly correlated. In layman's terms, one could call it spite I suppose!
Masculist XY
January 15th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
This is an exact description of my ex-wife. The only difference is that we did not have kids, but her and her first husband had kids. She did the exact things described. This woman had the biggest sense of entitlement of anyone I have ever met. My divorce attorney, (also a female), said the same thing. She used her kids against her ex so much that we would get into arguments about it. That type of sociopath personality from her led to our divorce.
It is so funny that theft is mentioned, because I know that she has defrauded her employer for $1000's, and she will get caught eventually. I really thought I was reading her story!
January 16th, 2008 at 2:35 am
I will try to get a copy of this book when I get to the states next week.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Yep, my sister.
Dividing up an estate she begged me to lay claim to items she was no longer entitled to.
"I know you don't want it, and I don't want it, I just want to make sure that third party can't have it!"
She spent so much of her "inherited equity capital" on spite that she ASSUMED I'd...you know...
GIVE her my cut of the remaining stuff she actually cared about , but cast aside with blind venom.
Despite earlier offers of fair "buyout" of other parties, she declined to chip in.
Now she demands consideration, at 1998 real estate prices, to buy into a
50% share of the "ol' homestead" as "a legacy for my nephew" in the mistaken belief she can leverage my common law "long time acquaintance" out of the rest when I keel over.
I told her-Day late, Dollar short. Buy her son her own legacy .
I see a vindictive court battle in the future, no chance of losing, JUST to deplete my assets in defense.
I can easily see how some woman might use their own children as chattel in similar situations,
once the "novelty" of the child bearing has fulfilled their misguided ideas of completion of womanhood,
and self serving behavior results in kids without an "in house" father figure, that don't unconditionally worship,
adore, or respect her authority anymore anyway.
I like to think such females are a vast minority, but I've seen how such official data can easily be "miscomprehended".
January 16th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Wow! sounds just like my ex that I've been battling for custody and access for over 10 years now. i commend the writers on the straight forward language. Good Job! BTW I do think there are more females that exibit this behavior then most people think but thank God they are still in the minority...
January 16th, 2008 at 9:29 am
My experience is women like this are generally very attractive. It seems mental stability is inversely proportional to attractiveness. I can almost understand it, attractive women really can get anything they want, which creates some very unhealthy habits. The lack of recognition of behavior like this from the feminists comes from the denial of the incredible power a beautiful woman has. That immediately creates problems, since the feminist position is woman have no power.
January 16th, 2008 at 9:39 am
That is my ex to a 'T'.
January 16th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Frighteningly accurate and sadly true. I can tell by the first two articles about the book, it is a must read for people
trying to figure out why an ex would act in that fashion.
January 16th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Yep - dated one of those!
January 16th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
In my interview with the ex-husband of Tamara Moonier (see link: http://www.dontmakehermad.com/forum/index.php?topic=38.0 ) He described her exactly as this article describes female sociopaths. To a "T" I might add!! Very sad, that she still acts this way for the most part even while taking her "Meds" I think they need to up her dose!!
January 16th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
There is a psychological syndrome called Narcissistic Personality Disorder that is almost a perfect description of the modern American feminist-influenced woman. A person with NPD is a tad shy of being a true sociopath, but to be involved with one can be equally devastating.
The characteristics of someone with NPD include:
amoral/conscienceless
lack empathy
authoritarian
care mainly about appearances
contemptuous
critical of others
cruel
disappointing gift-givers
don't recognize own feelings
envious and competitive
feel entitled
flirtatious or seductive
grandiose
hard to have a good time with
hate to live alone
hyper-sensitive to criticism
impulsive
lack sense of humor
naive
passive-aggressive
pessimistic
secretive
self-contradictory
stingy
January 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Thanks. I'm getting the book tonight. I'm fortunate to have two of these women in my family. Our son and his significant other and a sister in law. This websight put into words what we live with. The constant chaos and crsis are exhausting. Can't even imagine living under the same roof and glad to see posts from those of you who survived. My husband of 33 years and I don't engage with either of these women but try to give our son help when he calls. We have to do everything in secret or she retaliates. We purchase one new cell phone a month for our son or he has no way to communicate w/anyone, including employers when she lets him work!! I've gone so far as to attempt getting a restraining order but courts don't want anything to do w/these women and asked that I start filing reports to child protective service. My heart goes out to all of you and all you have endured. My story is just to let you know they cause problems for other family members and that manipulation causes many who love and care to just stay away. We love our son but we too are almost at the breaking point both emotionally and financially. Cindy F
January 17th, 2008 at 7:55 am
well-i have been through the exact smae type of relationship-these type of women are rapists of the soul and emotional serial killers-they have no idea of the damage they can do to someone with their manipulation and humiliating behaviour-i dn't know if i can ever recover from the emotional damage that has been wrought onto me -
I found the book "stop walking on eggshells"and it was a big help on understanding this kind of carnage
January 17th, 2008 at 9:46 am
We live in a society that promotes this type of abusive attitude and behavior in women. Increasingly, it will be hard to distinguish the "normal" women from the sociopaths.
January 17th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Jay R, if we don't get rid of feminism soon there aren't going to be any normal women left. I'm serious. Feminism is poison to any society. Some women who claim to be normal would never submit to their husbands and that's a huge problem. Some women think they're being independent and strong when really they're just being rebellious and stiff-necked. Plus today most people don't know their proper role in the family. We have a lot of work to do.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 am
Oh my God! The description of a female sociopath fits a certain Democrat candidate for President to a T.
Not surprising since her husband is a narcissistic sociopath and pathological liar.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 am
I am a step-mom and this is most definatly a description of my husbands ex-wife.
We are headed back to court after finalizing a custody arrangement. We have the older boy full time
and the other two half the time. Now the ex has decided otherwise and we will only see the kids 3 days in January.
I have been a step mom for 9 years and the ex is also trying to determine what is step parent time and what is parent time. I wish I could take the law into my own hands. Lets hear it for the me me me syndrome!
I think I will buy the book and mail it to her.
Gretchen, Utah
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
I just got the book today. It starts with an account of a woman crying rape to avoid paying a taxi fare.The cabby, of course, was tackled and bound for the police. Her accomplice later said, "All she did was try to get out of paying the fare. What's wrong with that?"
January 22nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I lived with and am divorced from this type of person. I was harrassed about my friends, family and work. I was never ever to please her with her constant demands. She has alienated my daughter from me in the last 2 years.
I read a book called, Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/157224108X/bookstorenow57-20 - which was very helpful. Most people who have BPD will not seek help as they do not believe they have a problem. I would recommend that if you live with this type of person to LEAVE as soon as possible.
This book also describes how the victim, after living with a person with BPD actually suffers a great deal of emotional problems due to the abuse. I still suffer from the nightmare of my ex and it has been 7 years since the divorce.
The state gave my ex, custody of our child, this after going through 3 different attorneys. My attorney told me the first two quit her and told him she was unbearable, wouldnt take advise and so on. Also the lies she told the judge were rulled as such. I do believe that people who have BPD are more likely to practive Parental Alienation as a means of getting their way and making the other person suffer. It happened to me.
January 23rd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
My ex was diagnosed with this disorder. It is no joke at all.
After she neglected and destroyed my life for eight years, she used the "System" to destroy my sons.
After her home was found unfit for human habitation, I lost one of my sons to the woman who raised her. This is truth but I am still in the fight I am presently working on bringing this in front of another judge.
For those of us who are living this God Bless cause the system will not!!!!!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:45 pm
I have spoken and posted about this many times over the years. And what most have said here is very true. Just recently I got a call from my Ex's sister and came to the conclusion that this type of behavior runs in families and also their negative behavior is supported by other females in the same family. (6 girls and 1 boy) In my own experience I am still holding the Ex accountable for her actions because she always was an unfit & deadbeat mother. The only difference in what it was like when she lived here and what she does now is that she is now court ordered to pay child support where she wasn't before. So the new extension of her abuse is not paying the CS or keeping in touch with these 2 great kids that used to have to suffer from her daily abuse.
Despite all the proof that this occures in many women, with even several witnesses, the courts don't seem to acknowledge it that much or are slow to react and hold these women accountable. Therefore not only is this enabling them to continue in this behavior and become much worse, it also is backed up by many women's shelters that take them in and never hear the other side to establish that these women have made false charges to get them housed there. In some cases the case workers help them to make up the lies and have them rehearse their stories for a court hearing. The reason being is that there are many staff members that are proffesional victims themselves and want nothing more in their lives but to pursecute men. Needless to say, I know what I am going to buy on my next trip to the book store.
February 16th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Selma Blair the actress is a classic case of a female sociopath. Any man or woman who has been involved with her could tell you the same. If you come in contact of this woman, run don't walk away. Reading the above was like reading a description of her.