'When I Was a Teenager I Was Falsely Accused of Molesting 2 Kids'
January 23rd, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
We often cover the problem of false allegations on my blog, and recently Joshua, a reader, told me that as a teenager he had been falsely accused of molesting his next door neighbor's kids. I asked him to tell us his story, and this is what he wrote:
Joshua's Story
Back when I was a teenager I was falsely accused of molesting 2 kids I was babysitting at the time. One was a little girl; the other was a little boy.
I had babysat these two kids for a couple of years, as they lived next door. I would babysit them on average once a week after school until their mother returned home from work. I was known to be really good with kids even as a teenage boy.
Anyways, the situation started one day when I was sitting in my room and I heard my mother calling me from the front-door. As usual if my mother was calling me from another part of the house it was probably to give me trouble for something I did, telling me it was supper, or do chores. I never expected what happened next.
When I got to the top of the steps going down to the front door, my mother said I have something to ask you. I was like, "Okay what?"
"The neighbor tells me that you molested their kids. They say that their niece said that their daughter told their niece you had touched them in places you shouldn’t be."
I was like, “What? I didn’t touch those kids? Why would I do something like that?” As it happened quite a few years ago I can’t particularly remember every detail of the conversation that came about and how I reacted but I remember being completely stunned. Then I remember my mother almost crying and then finally saying that she believed me.
This girl was also new to my high school at the time so I had just met her at school and found out she was related to the kids next door.
So I didn’t think much of it, until I went to school the next day. All of a sudden I could hear her telling the people at school that I molested her niece and nephew. I couldn’t believe how horrible I felt about someone saying that about me. I had my own troubles in my life with drugs and school; now I was being accused of molesting kids and now everyone in school was going to know.
I remember being in science class and her discussing this with the “popular kids” in school. I remember overhearing it and then keeping it bottled up inside until after class when I went to my teacher (who was fairly new to teaching) and crying about how this girl was telling people these vicious lies about me. I remember not knowing why this was happening to me and why someone would do this to me. I look back on it now and know why but that’s for another debate.
I remember my teacher consoling me and just listening. She didn’t seem to have judged me but who knows, at least she didn’t make it evident.
I came home the end of that day to my mother talking about it, and the cops outside the neighbors’ house. It seems that when it finally went further, the “accuser” confessed to lying about it because she was jealous that I was babysitting her niece and nephew and not her. They had to withdraw her from school and from what I heard they had committed her for depression. My guess is, they made her go see a counselor and moved her to another family members place in a different city. All I know is I have never seen her again.
The next part was to go to school and face everyone. The best part was the moment they found out that she was no longer with the school everything returned to normal. They found out what had happened. Although, I’ll admit even I don’t know if anything was said behind closed doors but no one ever gave me any form of nickname.
I never got asked to babysit after that, and they started asking another person. They always said “I was too old and you’d probably want to do something else” when I asked why I wasn’t asked. Funny it happened right after that.
The interesting thing that happened was a year later I was confronted by that same teacher for “picking on” another student. She said to me, “You remember that time someone said something about you that wasn’t true? Why are you making fun of this person for something that isn’t true?” If my memory serves me correct it was about the person’s hygiene.
She basically minimized me being falsely accused vs. someone being picked on in high school.
Thankfully the story was bitter sweet but the end result isn't. To this day, approximately 14 years later, I am still affected by what had happened.
I no longer feel comfortable around small children. I have a hard time showing affection to them. That fear of the past always creeps up when I try and show affection. I think, "What if someone judges me for accepting a 'kiss' from my niece or nephews?" Instead I confine it to a high five.
But I’ll admit that’s nothing in comparison to how I feel with my daughter. My daughter is a year and about 5 months right now. I find it very difficult to be involved giving her baths, changing her (although at this point I still do it continually) and I find I even think twice about the way I show affection to her in public. I honestly believe that what happened to me when I was younger made me realize that just any person can “accuse” someone of anything without any evidence whatsoever. Instead I felt that I have to protect myself by making sure people can see I’m “standoffish” and not affectionate other than “stories” they hear about how I am with my wife.
To this day my wife still doesn’t know about what happened to me in high school but she always questions why I feel “uncomfortable” with my daughter when it comes to bath time. I just simply tell her I’m uncomfortable and don’t know why, I just am.
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January 23rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Great narrative. It turned out as well as can be expected except it seems Joshua will always bear the scars of this injustice, until the day he dies.
The lesson here is that none of us should be so willing to accept as true accusations, especially when it involves claims of sexual assault.
In "Until Proven Innocent," the widely praised (even by the New York Times, which the book skewers) and painstaking study of the Duke Lacrosse non-rape case, Stuart Taylor and K.C. Johnson explain that "[t]he standard assertion by feminists that only 2 percent of rape claims are false, which traces to Susan Brownmiller's 1975 book Against Our Will, is without empirical foundation and belied by a wealth of empirical data. These data suggest that at least 9 percent and probably closer to half of all rape claims are false."
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
How sad for this man and how he feels after a False Accusation so many years later!! As I have told many times on this site that I am writing a book about False Accuser's, I point out the Moonier women: Tamara and her mother Wendy. Tamara's ex-husband told me many times about how he feels and reacts around children and women, and it mirrors what this man from the story states. Again, here is the link to his partial story: http://www.dontmakehermad.com/forum/index.php?topic=38.0 When will our court system do something more harsh to these False Accuser's as they leave a wake of destruction to their victims time and time again. False Accuser's get away with their crimes because there is no real punishment for their crimes, so they keep getting away with it and keep doing it!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Joshua, don't quote me on this, but maybe you should tell your wife about this, so she understands why you're so uncomfortable around your daughter. If she's understanding and supportive, maybe it could be the beginning of working through this. Maybe it's the psychology major in my talking, but keeping quiet on going through something like this can't be productive in the long run. Talking about it here is a good start.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
My daughter used to get urinary tract infections because when she was a baby or pre-pull-up daughter, I used to be paranoid with fear of such a possiblity of misandrous and malicious (mostly the same thing) allegations. Everytime she got the urinary tract infections I felt bad as my daughter suffered and my child's mother lectured me, but unfortunately more fearful of so-called justice than doing the 'natural thing' and looking after what I perceived as 'the best interests of child' as opposed to Government. Government's record of 'protecting children' and 'looking after their supposed best interests' is abysmal (sp?) in America.
Perhaps they (Government and their feminist-socialist friends) could learn something from zoos in the rearing of infants and juveniles, as Government seems only competent in this regards with virtual dictatorial powers and lots of bars, fences and/or lexan (used in place of glass, often even bullet resistant). As it is,, with about 1/4 of the world's prison population and only 3.8% of the world's population, and 80% of youth detention inmates in my State alone at 80% from so-called father absent homes, perhaps Government really doesn't need to consult with zoos.
About a month ago, I spoke with something less than a man of integrity at the VA who was the police chief of our State's largest city and actually ran our State's juvenile detention facility. When I reminded him of our State's and Nation's prison statistics, and worse yet the youth detention population he managed and advised our State officials about, he whined like the intellectual and castrated coward I suspected he was about 'rights of women' and we can't turn back the clock. He seemed to sink into his seat a bit in self-loathing as I ended it there, knowing deep inside how he made his livelihood and nice pensions.
He's to me little else than a Kapo and child predator, and HE KNEW THAT I KNEW IT. (I believe that's the term used as the 'title' of Jewish police in the Jewish Ghettos in Poland who ensured among other things that the proper number of Jews were corralled at the train station for the next trains to Treblinka and the like.) I could see the shame and embarrassment all over his face.
Mike
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Willliam S., part of the problem is this: the crime of making false reports does not take into account the severity of the lie. So if a girl falsely reported her boyfriend stole her watch, that crime would be treated with the same severity as the girl who falsely accused her boyfriend of rape. The problem is that a false rape allegation is worse than anything except a false murder allegation, and the punishment should fit the crime. After all, the boyfriend would be sent away for decades for the rape but he'd get probation for the watch.
The other problem is that the rape victim advocates in our justice system don't want to "deter" true rape victims from coming forward by making an example of a liar. That reluctance, however, does not properly recognize the severity of the false rape allegation problem. Make no mistake, it is a problem -- see the quote I furnish in my earlier comment on this thread. The liars are as bad as the rapists, period.
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
[...] Please read the post here. [...]
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Feminist mass hysteria may have to get worse before it gets better!!
Those that are suffering the brunt of this anti-male hysteria are our youngest generation of boys!!
But if the feminist constructionists keep the (women as victim) agit-prop at a feverish pitch, then no-one will have the time to notice little jonny snorting his ritalin, and the pistol he just bought!!
We're so busy trying to "save" the most liberated group in the world (middle class white females)..that we don't notice the floor has just dropped out on the rest of society!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Alex I agree with you.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I could have written this.
When I was in 6th grade, the girls next door wanted to (initially) kiss me. I wasn't sure where it would lead, and they were too aggressive, so I said no. They said "OK" and we continued playing. They had a trampoline. They invited me into an old abandoned house across the street, showed me a bed and sheets and invited me to lay with them. I declined again. They came another time, and I didn't even want to talk to them, so they chased me into my house; I chased them out with a golf club. (My grandfather did say I'd have to beat 'em off with a stick, but jees-).
Then they invited me into their house and drugged me. I can't begin to describe the sexual and emotional torment and abuse they put me through over the next several years. In 8th grade, I called the cops during the middle of one attack, crying and begging them to take me to jail (jail would have been better than what they were doing) but the son of a bitch refused to help.
They spread rumors about me for the next 15 years, and ruined my career.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Joshua,
I do not know what to say other than hang in there, and do not let that person ruin your relationship with your daughter or wife.
Take care,
Bernie
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I consider Joshua a victim of "bait-rape." He has my support.
The following are references concerning false rape allegations. They do not deal directly with false allegations of molestations, but they may be helpful in this matter nonetheless. It appears that about 50% of rape allegations could indeed be false. These are the sources:
*Kannin, Eugene. (1994). False rape allegations. Archives of sexual behavior, 23 (1), 81-92.
*McDowell, C P. (1985). False allegations. Forensic Science Digest, 11, 4, 64.
The high levels of stress associated with herjury (bait-rape) is also starting to get acknowledged.......so Joshua is not alone! The following is not an extremely empirical source, but it does at least attest to the stress associated with herjury:
*Renner, M. and Mackin, R. (1998). A life stress instrument for classroom use. Teaching of psychology, 25 (1), 47.
Masculist XY
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Most men/boys just roll over and play dead after being falselly accussed of rape, and never want to mention it again .
In this climate of misinformation...society is led to believe women never lie about rape, so he must be guilty,???right??
It takes alot of courage to fight back, and yes you are fighting a feminist leviathan, but it's better than living the rest of you're life in fear that someone will find out about you're false accusation.
The feminist juggernaut that consumes men/ childrens lives and turns them into hamburger does have an achilles heel, they can't seem to tell the truth!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Being uncomfortable around his own daughter, itself, could contribute to getting Joshua in trouble at a later date. If his daughter or someone else (like the mother) decides to falsely accuse him, someone would no doubt go back and say, "you were uncomfortable around your daughter because, all along, you were suppressing your urge to molest!"
Sad but true, that's the way peoples' mentality works these days. Most of it's due to the media, and to the satisfaction many people get from accusing a man of something (especially like this).
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I should elaborate on the above - when I say people get satisfaction out of being accusatory, I don't specifically mean the mother or the child in this case. I just mean most people in general. They enjoy rushing to judgement and being accusatory.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Regarding the McDowell study mentioned by Masculist XY above, Warren Farrell goes into this study at a detailed level in his book "The Myth of Male Power". He also mentions it in "Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say".
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I can't claim this as an original point, but note:
The proposition that men collectively use the threat of rape as a device to terrorize and subdue all women is a malicious lie, but the proposition that women collectively use the threat of a false rape accusation as a device to terrorize and subdue all men has become a malicious truth.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
menscollegiateactivist, when you say "But if the feminist constructionists keep the (women as victim) agit-prop..", do you mean constructionists on a philosophical level? Because actually most of them are deconstructionists, i.e. they are extreme post-modernist nut cases, who get warped satisfaction from tearing down perceived existing "oppressive systems", and anything else they happen not to like.
I'm not trying to re-direct the subject, just wondering what you meant by that term. I suspect in this case you may have meant specifically, that they "construct "stories such as these? Or that they are trying to construct a feminist State?
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Joshua,
I wouldn't recommend telling anyone, especially your wife for the following reasons:
(1) Any future distrust she may have now or in the future may well be rooted in that distrust. I have experience with this, though not in regards to child maltreatment of any kind or the accusation thereof.
(2) More importantly, in these times unfortunately information not only builds trust, but also is a base for power. Unfortunately, with the feminist-sociaist destruction of the traditional family, it is already too easy to be on the outside looking in relative to you and your wife's beloved daughter. Not only do you not deserve it, more importantly your daughter doesn't, and such garbage should not be another potential weapon in your potential future ex-wife's possible hate and vengeance arsenal. Let me say that I found that my ex-wife was far less than truthful, especially about the children and her substantially higher income and stock.
Love your wife and child's mother, but don't screw your beloved daughter (no sicko pun intended) and yourself in the process.
Mike
Mike
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Judge Rufus, above you said, "..the rape victim advocates in our justice system don't want to "deter" true rape victims from coming forward by making an example of a liar. That reluctance, however, does not properly recognize the severity of the false rape allegation problem"
I woud add that this "reluctance" (probably better worded as an "aggressive attitude toward making accusations"), totally ignores the concept of justice - you know, those "abstract concepts" that most women don't lend much credence to in cases like these, like the presumption of innocence, right to confront your accuser, etc. Just little insignificant things called "basic rights".
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Correction: when I said above that "most [feminists] are deconstructionists", I should have said ideological feminists (what some call "gender feminists", "radical feminists" etc. I prefer "ideological" because they are in fact ideology-driven. The other terms don't reflect the full extent of their mentality.)
January 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
This happened to me as a teenager as well. My little sister had a friend over our house, which was not unusual since I had 3 sisters and there were always girls coming and going. That night the friends mother called my mother and said her daughter had told her I was touching her in an inappropriate way. When my mother asked me about it......total shock. I had no idea what she was talking about and why the girl would accuse me of this. Luckily I was never alone with the girl, and my sister said her friend was crazy, that nothing like that happened. It didn't have a real lasting affect on me, but I did always wonder if someone else in her family was molesting her and it was her way of trying to draw attention to the problem.
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Yes, Norman L. The rape advocate cottage industry is bent on imprisoning every male even accused of rape, as demonstrated by their widespread disappointment when it turned out Crystal Gail Mangum was not raped by three Duke Lacrosse players. (They would have preferred if she had been raped.) These zealots engender a reluctance among even non-radicals, who buy into their rubbish.
The biggest lie we need to confront is that only 2 percent of rape claims are false -- rape centers around America freely toss this statistic about. The real number is closer to 50%, as discussed in one of my earlier commnents on this thread. If we can get that figure widely circulated, it will force these claims to be viewed with far greater caution.
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm
norman... Paradigms are constructed.
feminists de-construct only to re-construct thier own paradigm.
Linguistics is a very powerfull art.
Knowledge is power!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Destroying a person's reputation is a very common passive-aggressive tactic that girls learn how to use fairly early in life, and typically it starts during their adolescent "girlfriend wars" when they employ it against their rival females.
Starting rumors, social ostracism, shunning, shaming, using friendship as a weapon, getting a third party to do your dirty work, making false accusations -- these are all tools in the psychological arsenal -- which are refined and perfected to be used later on in relationship wars with men.
The genius of this kind of emotional terrorism is that the perpetrator can always claim innocence, being uninvolved or being misunderstood, yet the predatory power-and-control aims are achieved.
Corporate sexual harassment policies are a good example of the psychological coercion of big-girl culture built on the ever-present threats of innuendo and hearsay.
The best read on this subject is Rachel Simmon's "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls."
Of course, it goes without saying that not all women are like this; however, they all know the tricks of the trade and have the capacity to use them if necessary.
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Stay away from other peoples kids. It's the only way to protect yourself.
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
My ex used to refuse to change our daughter, or give her a bath, or even watch her for extended periods of time because he said he felt uncomfortable. I'm glad to hear that your not letting your discomfort stand in the way of being a good father.
I think there is always a little stigma with fathers of little girls. My friend gets it all the time. Don't let it get you down.
Though, I might point out that no matter how a father treats his child, he can still be accused of molestation.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Joshau's story hit a nerve. My son was accused of the same thing after babysitting two young children. I doubted his innocence even though he had sat for this family (and other families) many times. Long story short, the child who accused him was merely repeating something he had overheard someone else say in reference to a penis.
What is heart breaking is that I never bothered to talk with my son afterwards to see how this false accusation might have affected him, and to be perfectly honest, I hung on to a ever-so-slight suspicion that it was true.
Can ANY of you see the paradox here? I projected my own horrible experience on to my SON (what kind of mother would do that)! The affects of trauma and how it can manifest itself in a victim’s life can be devastating, not to mention how it can effect one's parenting ability.
This was not easy to tell.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Joshua's life, as mine and so many others, was changed forever because of a single incident.....
January 23rd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
1)"I think there is always a little stigma with fathers of little girls. My friend gets it all the time. Don't let it get you down".
2)"Though, I might point out that no matter how a father treats his child, he can still be accused of molestation."
The genius becomes evident when you switch the order of the statements.
January 23rd, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Georgia Girl, your son is the victim of your unjust assumptions. You need to stop putting yourself as the lead victim in every narrative. You need to overcome whatever occurred in your past and stop projecting it on innocent people, stop using your misfortune as a crutch because you will never experience growth until you do that. Everyone has had bad experiences, some more traumatic than yours, believe it or not, but only you can stop the cycle.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:02 am
From roy: "Destroying a person's reputation is a very common passive-aggressive tactic that girls learn how to use fairly early in life, and typically it starts during their adolescent "girlfriend wars" when they employ it against their rival females.
Starting rumors, social ostracism, shunning, shaming, using friendship as a weapon, getting a third party to do your dirty work, making false accusations -- these are all tools in the psychological arsenal -- which are refined and perfected to be used later on in relationship wars with men."
Well, your comments are certainly very consistent with my own experiences in junior high. I was an innocent, nerdy, school-loving late bloomer (shocking!!) and I was TORTURED by a some of the girls in my class in seventh grade. I do want to emphasize that it was only a small portion of the girls, not all of them. At the hands of the nastiest girls, I was shunned, shamed, tricked by people pretending to be my friends, rejected by some longtime friends (temporarily), ridiculed, etc. I'm not sure it fits into the "rival" category, although maybe it did in the end. It's comforting to imagine that the worst bully-girls are in jail now or something, but in reality they may instead be living on their ex's money somewhere. That is an extremely chilling thought....
I wish I knew how to protect my kids from this kind of behavior. Luckily, my stepdaughter seems to have better friends than this. My stepson still doesn't like girls and my daughter is still mastering Play-Doh.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:48 am
Georgia Girl
I feel for you. What you're living with and to say it on this site takes a courage that is not common. My perception of this site is that it is somewhat revolutionary because Glen insists that we need to talk as equals instead of just pushing egos.
Thanks Georgia Girl for sharing your pain - sounds crazy but it makes a diff
January 24th, 2008 at 4:06 am
Judge Rufus Peckham Says:
" part of the problem is this: the crime of making false reports does not take into account the severity of the lie"
Most penalties for false reporting are not worth the time and effort to fill out the charges, therefore most are not even charged. Even fewer are charged with reporting rapes they know did not occur because the cows from NOW tell authorities that if they are charged, no one will report rapes. As a result, even when it is proven they willfully lied, nothing is done.
We have rape shield laws which not only protect real victims of rape, it protects the false accusers far more. These laws let them get away with accuser others time after time again with little risk to themselves.
In the Duke Non Rape case, each of the accused had over a million dollar legal defense, Most certainly could not afford this type of defense and we know public defenders sure would not be able to do much to defend someone for rape charges thus many are urged to "plea bargain" for crimes they did not do in the first place.
There are many others who have been accused of a rape they did not do that were not so fortunate. Many have had their family abandon them as they believed the accuser and some....have taken their own lives yet nothing was done to the accuser.
I contend that it is time to make it cost a willful false accuser as much if not more then it cost the accused. For these men that have been getting out of prison after a decade of serving time, the accuser should automatically have to spend an equal time an a comparable prison i.e. not the country club type women often go to.
I have written about this here:
http://www.shatterdmen.com/False%20Witnes.htm
January 24th, 2008 at 6:43 am
Georgia girl,
I appreciate the honesty. It sounds like you really had not thought about this before.
I say this with compassion.
Can you see why it is wrong to have victims of rape serve as councilors, prosecutors, judges, and other positions directly relating to rape trials? I have met men in person, falsely accused, who are in rape rehabilitation programs under the guidance of a rape victim/councilor. The blatant assumption that there is guilt, and the vindictiveness of the program due to projected victimhood of the councilors drove these men to prefer prison over 'rehabilitation'. Rape victims have an automatic conflict of interest and should not be able to be in charge of rapists or accused rapists. Your case with your own son is a perfect example. I realize it is a stage of healing to want to help others, but this is not the way to do it.
It is never too late to talk to your son. He would be grateful for the explaination, and I would bet understanding as well. Just be ready for him to also be angry, as I am sure your assumptions cut him deeper than anyone elses. I will pray for you and your son.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I was sexually molested as a child. I am the first to say that anyone who does this to a child is a sick person who needs mental help, not to be locked away for the rest of their lives. Please don't put all of us in the same steriotype.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I am very close with my friends family, including his children, a 10yr old girl and a 5 yr old boy. It is obvious to everyone that the 10 yr old appears to have a crush on me (among other male friends of his). Instead of being an innocent thing, it makes me uncomfortable because of the way society views men nowadays. I'm concerned that any affection I show her might be percieved the wrong way, but on the same hand I try to not shun her so she hates men. It's a horrible feeling that when a girl expresses her emotions to someone that it makes one feel dirty because of the way the world views us.
January 24th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Judge Rufus, you pontificate advice with such ease. What a blissful feeling that must be to have all the answers. And you even know all about K.C., nifong, and dirty Drham. Fascinating individual, you are.
Kirk and Biscuit, thanks.
Biscuit says, "Can you see why it is wrong to have victims of rape serve as councilors, prosecutors, judges, and other positions directly relating to rape trials?"
Absolutely, I do ... now! But not until after discovering this blog, did I realize what a corrupt the system we have.
Biscuit, re your last paragraph, how I wish that were possible. His life ended a few years later in a skiing accident (happened a long time ago). A tragic waste. Okay, now we can reeeely get the kleenex out :)
Mike Lordi, society has made it clear we should assume all men in child's life are potential pedophiles ... how sad that innocent men are affected.
January 24th, 2008 at 9:28 am
durham, that is
January 24th, 2008 at 9:32 am
corrupt the system? I should go back to bed.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Shatteredmen, even without the rape shield laws, a past false accusation of rape that did not result in a conviction likely would not be admissible in a subsequent rape trial. Hence the necessity to start prosecuting the obvious instances of false accusations. It's not as if false accusers are never charged -- http://www.eveningsun.com/ci_8008449?source=most_emailed -- but I'd like to see a high profile case.
Ground Zero for such false claims in the U.S. seems to be college campuses. Title IX should not be applied to allow university resources to be spent helping only the female student who claims she was raped if the male student she accuses claims it was a lie. How is that in any sense fair?
January 24th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I agree that there is way too much social stigma attached to inappropriate sexual events. You watch the animal world and some dogs will hump anything, the couch, the air, etc. I think that good prudence, decent protective measures, and a memory that can emphasize the positive and gloss over the negative are needed.
In growing up in Texas, there were several male teachers who made inappropriate contact with me, or tried. While I never think about it now, and can't see that it really affects me, I did eventually learn to take offensive-defensive pre-emptive measures. It seemed to be enough that if such a guy saw my jaw jutt out, my eyes narrow, and my fist ball up they would learn to keep their distance. Fait Compli.
January 24th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Judge the likelyhood of one of those cases becoming high profile is very unlikely becasue of forces like NOW and extreme feminists will claim that such a story would discourage "real victims" from stepping forward. The reason I put quotations on real victims is so that it is understood what they mean by that. In there eyes the "real victims" are only women who are actually raped with absolute disregard for people who are falsely accused. As far as they are concerned as soon as rape is mentioned the only victims are women. Women who are actually raped are vicitms but they are not the only victims.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
This is in response to the E-mail I received (there's only one, so you know who you are :) on how easily a victim of trauma can unconsciously project his/her "victimhood" onto others ... even one's own son. Yes, you're right ... it is interesting. And that's only ONE example of some unexplained behaviors I demonstrated for a good part of my life. Certainly, this doesn't make me unique ... others will tell you likewise. Thanks for responding!
On the light side, I have the best wild west story to tell ya'll about our experience today in the middle of the desert at Creech AFB, but it's too far off thread. I wish Glenn would declare one day a month as a tension-free-no-complaints-day.
January 24th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I find Judge Rufus Peckham to be a very reasonable and intelligent, consistent person. I do not get the impression that he is "pontificating" or that he thinks he "has all the answers".
That is a typical attack conducted against someone who is wise and correct moreso than the average person.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
I'm still working on the definitions of misandry and drocanian .... and now you throw in "moreso?!? Cut me some slack
January 25th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
[...] Background: We often cover the problem of false allegations on my blog and recently Joshua, a reader, told us the story of how as a teenager he had been falsely accused of molesting his next door neighbor's kids--to read it, see my blog post 'When I Was a Teenager I Was Falsely Accused of Molesting 2 Kids'. [...]
January 26th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Years ago my father and the stepmother (my dad's third wife) he was married too at the time forced one of my younger brothers into a mental hospital to be evaluated after my stepmother falsely accused my brother of molesting her son...Several years later she falsely accused my youngest brother who was in the Navy of raping her daughter and he later told me that he nearly committed suicide...Fortunately for him she never pursued a case against him...Then a couple years later after that in an attempt to cause trouble between me and my wife she falsely accused me to my wife of wanting to sleep with her, at the time, underage daughter...
At fifteen her daughter became pregnant and married the father, had another child and then divorced him...She then became intimate with another boyfriend and again became pregnant only to break up with him a year or two later in order to pursue an affair with her best friends husband which ultimately destroyed her best friends marriage...My stepmother's son married a 21 yr old woman when he was nineteen and shortly before my father died he told me that she would buy my stepbrother beer only to beat him up later when he was drunk...
After 11 yrs of marriage my dad's third wife filed for divorce and to avoid a costly legal fight my dad rolled over and paid her both alimony and child support even thought both of her children had been fathered by other men before they'd married...My father continued paying her even when her daughter came to live with him and after my 2ed stepmother began living with another boy friend and had two children by him which she concealed by falsely claiming that she had adopted and amazingly my father continued supporting her even after he learned the truth...Then as my father was dying from an STD infection she rolled her minivan and ended up paralyzed in an accident that she caused while driving aggressively due to an argument she'd had with her boyfriend...
About 2 yrs after my dad's 3rd divorce his 2ed ex wife (my first stepmother) showed up unexpectedly with her daughter that my dad had adopted during their marriage and whom he hadn't seen in years along with her children...Just recently divorced my first stepmother convinced my father to take her back only to cheat on him during their relationship and contacted the Hepatitis C virus that she then passed on to my father...Nor did my father find out that my first stepmother was a carrier until about two years after they broke up but by then it was too late as his doctor was never able to rid my father's liver of the Hepatitis C infection so that he died about 13 and a 1/2 years ago...
For years I'd tried to talk to my dad about the emotional, mental and physical abuse my first stepmother had subjected me too during their marriage...I'd even gone so far as to confront both of them together at one point during their marriage...But my father would never listen and always took her side...Only to admit years later, thought not to me directly but to someone else who told me, that I was right all along...
Sometimes what goes around comes back around and bites one hard in the behind...
January 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
DaPoet's story is just another stunning example of how passive men can be in the face of feminine evil. Good men have done little, indeed, to stand up to abusive women and their feminist cheering squad. IT'S TIME FOR MEN TO "TAKE BACK THE FIGHT!" It would do us a lot of good to remember that women (and their oh-so-precious vaginas) are like buses -- if you miss one, there will be another one along in 10 minutes.
January 26th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Cripes... I read DePoet's story over and over again. It's mind boggling to know there's so much evil going around. I'm not talking gender-wise. I'm just wondering how a human being stoop that low? Thank you for sharing that story.
Jay R says, "....if you miss one, there will be another one along in 10 minutes".
uh...yeah.... very much akin to a "wandering wizzy".
January 26th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
..... will always be willing to accommodate that oh-so-precious vagina, huh
January 27th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
GG,
When the wandering wizzy is no longer willing to make that accommodation quite so readily, the price of vagina will fall. It has been falling. How low will it go, I wonder?
January 28th, 2008 at 11:09 am
The good judge is right when he says, "The liars are as bad as the rapists, period." I'll go one step further and contend that their enablers, the ones who reap the profits, are worse, and these are the shysters and the judges! Charging all false accusers is also a great idea, so long as the accused are furnished with the same money tree to pursue these charges as are the accusers!
January 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
sad fact is that his behavior may make the mom who would think nothing of affection, think somethigns wrong and that he might actually molest her because of how he acts. in other words, its strange, so they make up a reason rather than actually explore... (but hey, who can blame them too, as exploring is frought with problems as well).
ultimately, he might neet a doctors hand to get back to his center. however, all it now will take is a clever lawyer to twist what seems to be abnormal behavior, into whatever they want it to be as its not the same as other behaviors.
meanwhile, his daughter is also being negatively affected. and he is letting it because he is aware and not trying to fix it. so the daughter doesnt know why dady doesnt love her, or is afraid of her.
not a good thing all aroudn.
as is clearly evident... it may take as many as three generations to remove the effect!!! it also may take many more... though three is probably the minimum if people dont change from their newly acquired behaviors.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
look up the game "rapo" - a mention of it is in the book "the games people play"
the book is quite old... so the example is of the old wkkk white black version...
however, the game is no longer limited to interacial situations... whats interesting is that these games are in the psych literature, there are studies of them... and yet, after feminism... all that seems to not exist.
the book is a 1960s classic!! it shows how our wisdom has changed..
Games People Play the Psychology of human Relationships (Hardcover)
by M.D. Eric Berne (Author)
Rapo
This is a game in which a woman (White) and a man (Black) are the main players. It can be played with varying degrees of intensity.
First-degree Rapo involves White mildly flirting with Black, signalling she is available and interested. Once he's committed himself to the pursuit, the game is over and White has won. The payoff is being found attractive.
In second-degree Rapo, the payoff comes not from the compliment, but from the enjoyment of rejecting Black's advances ("Buzz off Buster"). White leads him into a much more serious commitment, and enjoys watching his discomfort at being rejected.
Third-degree Rapo ends in a false accusation of rape. White leads Black into a compromising physical position before claiming criminal assault or permanent psychological damage. She usually involves a number of other players at this stage.
Black is often a willing participant in these transactions, playing a version of another of Berne's games - Kick me. The aim of Kick Me is to prove your misfortunes are greater than anybody else's, and thus gain sympathy. It's a type of inverse-pride at being the worst-off.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
man i know just how this kid feels. My mother accused my father of sexual stuff just to make him back off so he couldn't see me. That plus just all the other stuff in the media and so on made me terrified to even bath my kids.
I have only bathed my children a handful of times, because frankly i don't want there to ever ever be anything that be confused or used against me.. can you even imagine how horrible it would be to be acused to abusing your children? Anyway my new wife thinks it's horrible that i never bathed my children, but that is just the way it is. I'm afraid to. I am a little more comfortable with my boy... but not my daughter.
April 26th, 2008 at 12:57 am
I am a happily married black man with two daughters , One is an adult and if I am not around my wife or one of my children I people with children automatically visually perceive that I am a pedophile or some would be rapist. Just tonight I was cooking dinner in my own kitchen that has a window one of my neighbors had children outside playing and I ran back and fourth to the kitchen periodically checking my meal and during one of my trips back to the kitchen much to my surprise the neighbor knocked on my kitchen window and she asked if I was at all disturbed by the children playing and my reply was no and had suggested I was looking at the children and it bothered them and I was really irritated but not defensive I did not know what to say . I was really shocked at that accusation and to make matters worse her husband called me outside to talk about it and in so many words just implied I did some lewd peering outside my window and asked if I was registered . I felt I did not have to explain myself because all I was doing was checking my dinner. I just told him to believe what he wants to believe and He can check the meagan's law website. He did apologize but I could hear his wife accosting him for not assaulting me anyways. My question is can anyone be sued for this ?
April 28th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
How about filing for a Protective Order against the father befor that family files on you? Better yet, have your wife or daughter file on him!
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
you should tell your wife. that way she understands why you are how you are. it will help protect you and prevent you from being falsely accused because if anything happened god forbid your wife would understand and you'd have someone to vouch for you. if you keep it a secret it would make you look more suspicious. it might not feel like it, but no one who hears your story who is normal would hold it against you. and although it was a painful experience, you should make sure its not kept a secret or something to be ashamed of for your own safety and that of your family. you didn't do anything wrong.