Country & Western Song About a Post-Divorce Move-Away: Craig Morgan's 'Every Friday Afternoon'
May 4th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
"Well, it might as well be China,
Or the dark side of the moon.
There's no way I can be there every Friday afternoon."
Country singer Craig Morgan (pictured) has a powerful song about a post-divorce move-away called Every Friday Afternoon. It captures the way the move-away is often a devastating blow to the post-divorce father-child relationship.
The mom in the song gives the standard rap--she supposedly has a great new job in a different city, it's OK that dad won't be around any more because her parents live there, everything will be better wherever she's going, and dad can still talk to his kids on the phone, etc., etc.
To watch the music video, click here. The lyrics are below.
The move-away issue is one I've often written about--to learn more, see my co-authored columns Is a Pool More Important than a Dad? (San Francisco Chronicle, 5/4/04) and No Virtue in Virtual Visitation (Boston Globe, 7/12/02). To learn more about our two campaigns over move-away legislation in California, click here.
We'll put Every Friday Afternoon in our divorced dad song collection, along with Trace Adkins' I'm Tryin', Doug Supernaw's I Don't Call Him Daddy, Toby Keith's Who's That Man?, Tim McGraw's Do You Want Fries With That?, and Sting's I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying, which was also later recorded by Toby Keith.
Craig Morgan's Every Friday Afternoon
She called me up this mornin',
Said: "There's somethin' you should know.
"There's a job back home in Boston,
"And I think I'm gonna go.
"My parents are in Cambridge,
"An' I've got some old friends there.
"An' I know you think this isn't fair."
And the tears started fallin',
There was nothin' I could say.
Even if I fight it, someone loses either way.
Whoa, it might as well be China,
Or the dark side of the moon.
There's no way I can be there every Friday afternoon.
I have him every weekend,
He's got his own room here.
He's all that's kept me goin',
These last three years.
There's little league in Boston,
Oh, but who will coach his team.
How's he gonna grow up without me.
And the tears started fallin',
There was nothin' I could say.
Even if I fight it, someone loses either way.
Whoa, it might as well be China,
Or the dark side of the moon.
There's no way I can be there every Friday afternoon.
What about Christmas?
If I can't get off of work?
What about his birthday?
If I'm not there, he'll be hurt.
And I know the day is comin',
When she'll find someone new,
But he'll never love him like I do.
Well, it might as well be China,
Or the dark side of the moon.
There's no way I can be there every Friday afternoon.
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May 4th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Yeah. What are you gonna' do? Your best, I suppose. But you know where things are likely headed. And, no, it doesn't make her a BAD person (well, maybe just a little selfish, and callous ... ).
Am I correct that research shows that men who end up in this situation tend to literally self-destruct? I believe that post-divorce suicide rates are MUCH higher in men than in women, for instance.
May 4th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I really think the easiest way to discourage this isn't to try and ban move aways. If the ex has the resources to relocate like that it's obvious child support isn't all that necessary. As such for every mile relocated over 100 miles the child support payment should be reduced a set percentage. The parent moving away should also be forced to pay for the transport costs involved in enforcing the visitation schedule. If mom knew she was going to have to cough up the doe for a cross country flight every other weekend move aways would be a thing of the past.
May 5th, 2008 at 7:07 am
What is funny is I have heard of women who do move-aways. And then when the kids are in trouble in one form or another turn around and blame the man. Saying their father was never around.
Thereby absolving themselves of their own poor parenting, and poor decision to move-away, and once again turning things around for society so they are again the victim. Even though they instigated the whole situation. Society simply gives a sigh and the woman is again the victim.
It's like watching David Copperfield perform a magic trick where you can't beleive your eyes.
May 5th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Very poignant lyrics. Just like other social and political issues, when celebrities take up the cause they provide a powerful voice for many, increase awareness of the problems, and increase the political momentum, setting the stage for real changes in the law. I knew of some of the songs and artists on my own, but some of these artists were outside my reference field. I also recommend "Soap and Water" by Suzanne Vega.
Thanks for highlighting these, Glenn.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
That is a fantastic song, and the video is beautiful. It led me to expect great things from Craig Morgan, which I feel he has so far not delivered. But maybe that's the fault of the people marketing him.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I have heard the song and it is a sad one. I don't know what the answer is to this problem. Noone wants to give an inch, the women thinks it is her God( the state pretending to be God) given right to posess the children as if they were her personal property. The man/father just wants his rights to be respected, he is usually not the one to wreck the marriage and try and judicially kidnap the children, he just wants what is fair. Now here is the problem, what I a man thinks is fair and what a woman, who is prone to socially,legally and morally irresponsible behavior, thinks is fair are not the same thing. They do not realize they are poking their finger in Gods eye, sooner or later ,he will respond. They are not going to like the response, in fact they will be facing a horrible rath.
God has tendency to be merciful, but continued rebellion and disobedience wears away that mercy and he , being a just God has to act.
Now until that happens, there are somethings we could do to help matters. First, go back to the legal presumption that marriage is a legal contract and start enforcing that contract. If the woman breaks the contract , don't reward her for doing it. If she looses and looses big , that is a strong deterent to bad behavior.
Second develope and masse distribute a man's birth control pill. There is one being used in Europe, lets get it here!
Once a man can not be forced into parenthood against his will, this would have greatly aided mr Rhodes. We will have some difficulty getting the biased " Kangaroo Courts" to accept that if a man says " I took my pill, regularly and did not want a child they will have to be forced to abide by his decision. This leads to the third thing that could be done. Third we must start and push with all our wills, a civil rights movement for fathers and men. It will take years and be greatly opposed by those that stand to lose when it become a reality. But there are millions of us and million more who would support us. That is enough to put a career politician out of his cush little job if he goes against us.
Oh it will take passing some tough laws and take years of enforcing those new laws. A lot of women and a lot of "government terrorist' will have to go to jail to get the point across. ie" we are not going to tolerate being treated as second class citizens anymore" " we have rights and you will respect them!"
I think a basic noncustodial parents bill of right is necessary. A list of goals and the basis of a national agenda is needed. It should be very basic. 1) The right to remain a parent, in all custody cases joint physical/legal custody is rebuttal presumption. 2) The right to provide for the needs of YOUR CHILDREN directly through shared parenting agreement, in most cases no child support. Although we would still have to have such a provision on the books. 3) The right to due process and equal protection under the law. Once we get these New RIghts, we will have to vigorously enforce them. Those that have repeatedly violated our basic God given rights will have to be put on notice, the law supports us and we will force you to respect it.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
"Every Friday"
This guy is lucky. Most men receive from the government (read: family court) standard visitation of "every other weekend", that is, every other Friday.
The move away is inevutual, given the two decades a child grows up with the mom. Even though statistically the woman initiated the divorce, the child's inevitable suffering and failures in a matriarchy will be blamed on the father.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:15 am
I got as far as "but who's will coach his team?" and had to turn it off... I was my sons LL coach. I can see why this song reaches out to divorced dads so powerfully.
G_R