New Column: Media Unfairly Stereotypes Dads
June 16th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
My new co-authored column Media Unfairly Stereotypes Dads (Orange County Register, 6/13/08, Wisconsin State Journal, 6/14/08, Omaha World-Herald, 6/15/08), criticizes how fathers are portrayed in the media. While there has been some improvement in the past few years, fathers are still frequently unfairly depicted as slackers or deadbeats.
I co-authored the column with family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving, Chairman of the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood.
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Orange County Register, a 300,000 circulation newspaper in the greater Los Angeles area, concerning Leving & Sacks: Dads still dissed in the media (6/13/08), click here.
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Wisconsin State Journal concerning Media still unfairly stereotypes dads (6/14/08), click here.
Media Unfairly Stereotypes Dads
By Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks
The image of fathers and fatherhood has taken a beating over the past several decades, and the media has been part of the problem. While there has been some improvement in the past few years, fathers are still frequently unfairly stereotyped.
For example, in April the Council on Contemporary Families issued a report on men and housework. CNN’s headline to the story was typical of most media-- "Report: Men still not pulling weight on chores.”
In reality, studies which account for the total amount of work that husbands and wives contribute to their households--including housework, child care, and employment--confirm that men contribute at least as much to their families as women do. What the CCF study actually said was that the amount of child care fathers provide has tripled over the past four decades, and the amount of housework men do has doubled. Moreover, men have accomplished this in an era where the average workweek has significantly expanded. The papers reporting the story barely noticed.
Ex-NBA Player Jason Caffey was widely vilified in April for being behind in his child support. Caffey had paid over 90% of what he was ordered to pay, but fell behind when his post-career income dropped, and was threatened with jail. Neither CNN commentator Nancy Grace nor Caffey’s other critics stopped to ponder the absurdity of calling a father who had already paid millions of dollars in child support a "deadbeat dad."
Similarly, in April Chandra Myers made national headlines when she took the unusual step of suing New York bakery worker Robert Sean Myers’ employers Sara Lee Bakeries and Bimbo Bakeries for allegedly failing to garnish his wages. Yet while Robert was labeled a “deadbeat dad,” the media didn’t even notice that a court had obligated Myers to pay $2,000 a month in child support for one child--on an income of only $1,600 a month.
USA Today financial columnist Sandra Block recently explained that widows receive significantly more social security benefits if their husbands delay retirement. She could have written, “Men, we know your wives and children appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made as family breadwinner, and delaying retirement will help ensure your loved ones are provided for.” Instead, Block wrote:
“If you want to make up for all the times you came home with beer on your breath, left your socks on the bathroom floor or gave your wife a DustBuster for Valentine's Day, hold off on filing for your Social Security benefits.”
She then adds, with some understatement, “Many men who are eager to retire may chafe at this suggestion.” You think?
In 2002, Clara Harris repeatedly ran over her husband David as his daughter begged Clara not to kill her father. She recently filed a suit against her former attorney, triggering a round of media reports on her case. Media outlets consistently referred to David simply as “Cheating Husband” or “Cheating Spouse.” At one point, 233 of the 354 news stories indexed on Google News, referred to David Harris as Clara Harris’ “cheating husband.” If an unfaithful woman was murdered by her husband, it’s doubtful that newspapers would disparage this victim of domestic violence by referring to her simply as “cheating wife.”
The reporting of the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline child custody battle also had some low points. Many headlines were similar to Yahoo News’ “Court awards Spears' kids to K-Fed.” Funny, we thought "Spears' kids" had two parents, not just one.
Research shows that dads matter. The rates of the four major youth pathologies--teen pregnancy, teen drug abuse, school dropouts and juvenile crime--are tightly correlated with fatherlessness, often more so than with any other socioeconomic factor.
The public portrayal of fathers is fairer now than it was a few years ago, and much fairer than it was during the 1980s and 1990s. Still, too much of the media reflexively buys into unfair, destructive stereotypes of dads as slackers, deadbeats, deserters, and louts.
This column first appeared in the Orange County Register (6/13/08).
Family law attorney Jeffery M. Leving is the Chairman of the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood. His website is www.dadsrights.com.Glenn Sacks’ columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. He invites readers to visit his website at www.GlennSacks.com.
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June 16th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Another in a long line of amazingly insightful columns that don't waste a lot of text beating around the bush. Go right to the heart of the matter and drill it home with incredible clarity.
Glenn, it's much appreciated and I hope you never stop.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Not only do they unfairly stereotype dads, but they also ignore this whole issue.
If mothers were protesting on mothers day....How much press would that get?
It's Fathertime
June 17th, 2008 at 1:20 am
The media's negative portrayal of fathers is a subproblem of their negative portrayal of men, which is in turn a subproblem of misandry. Without addressing the root problem, which is misandry, the end of specific attacks on fathers will merely displace the attendant misandry by increasing it on some other class of men, or on men in general finding outlets other than advertisements.
The "solution" will merely have come by way of "putting an end to PC-incorrect misandry"
June 17th, 2008 at 4:20 am
The only way to combat 'misandry' is to set up an department in government with the same kind of power as the many womens health/rights departments within ruling bodies all over the world. Women have rights that are well earned and defended by these departments. Unfortunately there is not a recipriocal mens department to defend male rights and as a consequence these rights are becoming eroded in many theatres of life. With this in place the PC aspects of problems like this would be not slanted in one direction. Until this contingency is in place all the bleating we do will bring little change, because as a gender males have no specific representation. Wheras females have lobby groups and government departments dedicated specifically to and for their gender based problems and as a result they gain media and general society support.
June 17th, 2008 at 4:44 am
14yrs ago, if I had any idea it would come to this.... I would have considered kidnapping.
I was assured these were the steps to get the daughter in a healther, safer, nuturing environment.
I explained if we keep this up, you're mandating a career change.... 'oh, we can't do that, we're prohibited by law. Later she (case Miss'mgr') did say I should get a job closer to home' (at a time when my apartment was in the bldg where I worked 3 1/2mos of the year for 4yrs - that job and free rent are gone).
If the calculation was on my job, why was I prohibited from working it - travelling to 6 states, because the pay and work were better there than at home.
Why was 'parental alienation' not addressed, and 3yrs after removal of child as the court finally deemed the custodial parent an 'unfit mother' - and she is still maneuvering and trying to manipulate.
DEADBEATS do not walk-in and initiate this process, to be incarcerated and abused - I had no desire to be a party to her fraud and continuing illegal enterprise.
This is painful, but I did get a phonecall on Father's Day from the daughter - and the mother, after over 10yrs her harrassment continues unabated. For 10yrs I insisted, don't call me call the FOC - when we were together I suggested she get some counseling.... so the state or county paid for 'marriage counseling'. She carried the baby to term, to use as a pawn to coerce a marriage - and expressed it !!!
Somehow it has to change.... do people not see how broken the system is? And this is only one of the failing bureaucracies.
.... thanks for keeping it out there, and providing a forum. Gender alone, does not a parent make.
June 17th, 2008 at 6:06 am
@Colin
Nice post!
Does anyone know the best way to be lobbying for a department of men?
June 17th, 2008 at 6:55 am
"Ex-NBA Player Jason Caffey was widely vilified in April for being behind in his child support. Caffey had paid over 90% of what he was ordered to pay, but fell behind when his post-career income dropped, and was threatened with jail. Neither CNN commentator Nancy Grace nor Caffey’s other critics stopped to ponder the absurdity of calling a father who had already paid millions of dollars in child support a "deadbeat dad.""
Maybe Mr Caffey should wear whiteface, put on a blonde wig and hire Anne Heche's lawyer.
June 17th, 2008 at 7:45 am
if you have a rotten board, do you paint it? of course not, you remove the rot. unless and untill young men stop putting themselves in a position that allows women to manipulate them, their children and their assets nothing will change. the answer isn't new laws, more representation or other fluff. not with chivalry the true law of the land. the one and only change that will benefit fathers is to cease becoming fathers or at the very least, slow that process down by being much more judgemental towards marriage and to not produce children outside of wedlock regardless of the effort and self restraints necessary. that absoluely will effect the "system".
where am i wrong?
June 17th, 2008 at 9:49 am
$2,000.00 a month is not child support, it is to finance a lifestyle and is punishment for the Dad for failing to maintain a relationship with the mother, whether it was his fault or not. A child does not cost $2,000.00 a month.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Nancy Grace makes me cringe. I just happened to be watching on the night Jason Caffey was deadbeated. It was like 9 kids with 8 different women. I remember one male caller asking if some of these women had gotten themselves into a "business opprotunity gone wrong" and Nancy got a look on her face that said Whawhawhawhat?!!! "Oh yea that could never happen." I also seen a show of hers where a mother had kidnapped a custodial fathers sick child from the hospital and her first question wasn't "Where do you think they are heading?" or "How sick is the child?" It was "Well why didn't the mother have custody in the first place?" All I could think was "Where is Captain Obvious when you need him?" Reverse that situation and her first question would have been "How could the hospital let such a sick, irresposciable and dangerous father steal HER sick child right from underneath them." This is going to be a long uphill battle and isn't much different then dealing with a two year old. The media does or says something, then we say no and then we sit back and wait for the next thing they'll do for us to say no to.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Jason Caffey may not be the smartest guy in regards to his choices, but he more than surpassed what it takes to "support" a child. He provided a lifestyle to these "mothers" above and beyond support.
And this is the thanks he gets.
June 17th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Nothing demonstrates that child support is not (and never has been) about supporting the children than those high-profile, high-dollar child-support orders. NOTHING.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Child support is nothing but armed robbery. It does NOTHING to benefit the children. Shared parenting should be the norm. Money has driven this world nuts.
June 17th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Neither CNN commentator Nancy Grace nor Caffey’s other critics stopped to ponder the absurdity of calling a father who had already paid millions of dollars in child support a "deadbeat dad."
I'm sorry Glen I have to correct you there. If Caffey has already paid millions then it is no longer child support but it has become baby mama support. Check this out:
1 million dollars x 216months(or 18 years) = about $4600 per month. And that is only one million. You said he's already paid millions which means he is almost certainly paying more that $4600/month. Unless the child is horribly sick or the mother is unable to work (for a legitimate reason like a disablility, none of that, "I want to be with my child bulljive) there is NO reason a person should be paying that much a month in baby mama support, even a celebrity or athelete.
Yet while Robert was labeled a “deadbeat dad,” the media didn’t even notice that a court had obligated Myers to pay $2,000 a month in child support for one child--on an income of only $1,600 a month.
This is proof that a non-custodial father's actual income is never a part of the equation in figuring out support. You know unless someone can prove he was spending 125% of his monthly income on taking care of the family.
“If you want to make up for all the times you came home with beer on your breath, left your socks on the bathroom floor or gave your wife a DustBuster for Valentine's Day, hold off on filing for your Social Security benefits.”
That is just plain sexist. Telling men to continue working to support their families and hold on on Social Security benefits. Does that mean that even after the wife sex drive wanes she should still have sex with her husband? Or after she had developed severe arthritis she should still put in the effort to clean the home, do laundry, and cook for her husband? But no that would be patriarchal and misogynistic right?
June 17th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Nancy Grace is a very sick person. It absolutely frightes me that in the past, she was a lawyer representing clients.
Typing her name on this board should be considered a blasphemy and banned (even though I just did it myself), because it denotes a raw personification of the "f" word.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:54 am
"David M Says:
June 17th, 2008 at 9:49 am
$2,000.00 a month is not child support, it is to finance a lifestyle and is punishment for the Dad for failing to maintain a relationship with the mother, whether it was his fault or not. A child does not cost $2,000.00 a month.
"
Amen to that common sense, but say that too loud and boom. You are only complaining because you don't want to pay for your child, your a deadbeat. I know how much we spent when we were together. After the break up all of a sudden everything is so much more expensive to raise a kid. Lets not forget to have any sort of relationship with the kids we still need to have a room for them at our place.