Katy Perry--Anti-Gay or Anti-Male?
July 24th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families
In his recent MSNBC commentary Katy Perry and the media’s ‘Kiss’ of hypocrisy (7/22/08), Tony Sclafani examines the controversy over what he calls "two gay-unfriendly songs by newcomer Katy Perry: 'Ur So Gay' and 'I Kissed a Girl'."
While I have often condemned societal prejudice against gays and lesbians, in this case the anti-gay bigotry which gay advocates claim to see seems a lot more like anti-male sentiment to me. Sclafani writes:
Well, it’s official. It’s cool to make fun of gay people again.
How do we know? Because the folks in Medialand told us as much by relentlessly cheerleading two gay-unfriendly songs by newcomer Katy Perry: “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed a Girl.”
The first derides an emo guy with a barrage of gay stereotypes that were cliché even in Boy George’s heyday. The second addresses same-sex kissing (and, by extension, bisexuality) by putting forth the judgment that such a smooch is “not what, good girls do… not how they should behave.”
Yet Sclafani seems to be of two minds about it a little. On one hand, he approvingly quotes comments from unhappy gays. On the other, he cites one of my blog posts on negative depictions of men in the media, and links the Katy Perry issue to "the popular trend of male bashing."
The central issue in the article is Perry's song 'Ur So Gay'. In it, she sings:
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…
You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull em' down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would get a clue that its
not all about you
The video for the song can be seen here. Sclafani and the gay press are correct that the song contains gay stereotypes. However, I think what the song really does is mock and shame the man for not being "man enough." It's quite angry, contemptuous, and vicious.
I think if this song were really about a gay man, there would be a lot more controversy. Because the song is about a straight man, its anti-male bigotry largely goes unnoticed. It's to Sclafani's credit that he acknowledged it.
The other Katy Perry song which draws comment is 'I Kissed a Girl.' The video for it can be seen here or below.
It's basically a predictable song about a young woman wanting to sexually experiment with other young women. Also predictably, it is popular in large part because heterosexual men find it alluring when attractive women are sexual with each other. Perry sings:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
There is nothing anti-gay or anti-lesbian about the song.
Sclafani's full article can be seen here.
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July 24th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
probably not anti-gay or anti-male, just pro-whatever sells.
like marketing firms etc, she knows, or the song writer(s), ur so gay:Katy Perry, Greg Wells, i kissed a girl:Katy Perry, Dr. Luke, Max Martin, Cathy Dennis, knows what will sell.
besides, she cheated on her boyfriend by kissing someone else, so he should be kicking her to the curb.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I always looked at "kissed a girl" as being a lesbian "recruitment" song myself....
July 24th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I agree the song first song is technically anti-male, but it is said in jest the same as Eminem's songs. As much as I can understand some people being bothered by the song, it is just a song. The overreaction to it is unnecessary and honestly it is getting tiresome. It is just a form of entertainment and it is not as if some things cannot or should not be made fun of. And just like with Eminem, this overreaction is probably going to make Kate Perry a lot more money and more popular.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Homophobia and sexism are closely linked, although not in the way people usually state.
The party line is that homophobes hate feminine traits in men, therefore they hate women. In reality it's that they hate feminine traits in men and masculine traits in women (although men get much tighter restrictions on what is 'feminine')
This is basically a gender traditionalist approach.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
It is sensationalist pop culture. And it’s boring.
Later,
B
July 24th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I find the first song, that I'd never heard of before, very anti-male, and also anti-gay.
"You pull em' down and there’s really nothing there"
Basically a dick size reference as well as a claim that this guy is basically a girl, that is gay.
Is it like Eminem? Beats me, I don't listen to Eminem, but I think "raising awareness" of her lyrics is the first step to getting a discussion about her lyrics.
Tell her to stop singing them? No.
Educate her some? Perhaps.
Could we all lighten up about so much speech we find offensive? Absolutely.
For the most part it's just words and I try to be George Carlin on these issues. My kids know there is basically one and only one word that I don't want to hear from them. (Keys) (No, not that one.) It's their behavior that really matters.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
With the "I kissed a girl" video, I honestly think she's trying to play in to that number one sexual fantasy a lot of males have. The look on her face when she says "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it" says it all for me.
I really don't know what to say about the Emo song. It's offensive to gays but if I was gay, I'd be more offended by being compared with Emo's. My friends and I did our thing growing up to try to stick out and look cool but these kids are different then any generation before them. It's now cool to cut your self and constantly talk about suicide, where make up and cry all the time. Honestly, I'm not one of those "Real men don't cry" people but them kids are on a whole other level. They're dangerous to there selves and probably those around them. The MRM in me would love to see a study on how many of them come from single mother homes compared to two parent homes compared to single father homes. You can probably guess where I'd place my bet.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
"It's offensive to gays but if I was gay, I'd be more offended by being compared with Emo's."
Haha that's brilliant!
July 24th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
This chicks shelf life as a pop star will be just about as long as a box of Cheerios lasts.
Nice boobs. Those and three chords will make you a musician. A - B- G.
Are they real?
Do we care?
I want a really tomented diva like that drug-addicted famous British chick in rehab.
What's her name?
July 24th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Having seen a number of emo/ people in black/ I'm-soo-angsty drama queens, I really think that they deserve to be made fun of. I don't think any segment of our population is above being made fun of - unfortunately, the PC police will only allow one class of people to be made fun of without playing the race/ gender/ orientation card.
I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.
I don't think it's so much 'anti gay' as someone who's trying to goad someone else into growing a backbone, and the song seems to be directed at one individual, not a class. You're welcome to disagree.
Music is music. I can take that a song isn't necessarily advocating a particular viewpoint, even if it's told from an appalling one. (re: "cop killer") I'm more concerned about "earl's gotta die" type music that the band actively promotes as acceptable.
July 24th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Female homosexuals have always been much more acceptable to society than their male counterparts.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
This uncreative buffoon is obvious. She berates men by using homosexual slurs. As such she she is a low life trailer trash scumbag trying to make a dollar on the thriving misandry industry here in Amercia.
Expressing Misandry is really the only area of society where anyone can say whatever they want, no matter how hateful and vicious it may be, and not be dogged for it by the rest of society.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:23 am
I disagree with most of the commenters here. Once of the worst aspects of the male gender role is that women will not tolerate any hint of emotional weakness or need in men. To stand any chance of having an intimate relationship with a woman, we must pretend to be emotionally invulnerable - which pretty much guarantees a relationship with someone who does not care about our emotional well-being, but expects us to care greatly about hers. That's what "Ur So Gay" reinforces.
I also disagree that it doesn't matter because it's "just a song". I know my view of the world as a teenager was formed in significant part by the music I listened to, and the view presented of relations between the sexes in popular music is one of men adoring women and being incomplete without one, and and women either enjoying or disdaining male devotion. That message is nearly universal in popular culture and needs to be countered.
Nick Hornby said something perceptive about pop music in "High Fidelity":
On the other hand, "I Kissed a Girl" is just tittilation.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:53 am
I have become rather annoyed at hearing that "I Kissed a Girl" song, and I change the radio station whenever it is on.
It's not that I don't like the lyrics. It's just one of those songs that becomes irritating when it gets too much airplay.
When writing on this blog, I like to listen to the soothing tones of Norah Jones. This helps take the rough edges off my posts!
July 25th, 2008 at 6:22 am
This appears to be a woman of rather low character and yet another sign of the degeneracy of popular culture. Ur So Gay is grotesquely homophobic, after all to put someone down by calling them gay cant be anything but, and we know it's just an insult because we know the guy isn’t really gay as he "doesn’t like boys". If its misogynist to insult a man by saying he's a woman (it is), and if it's misandrist to accuse Margaret Thatcher of being a man (it is), then this song is homophobic. And as for those who say “Aww. Lighten up, its just a song”, it’s the usual Litmus test- just replace the words with ones more pertinent to your own group and you get crap like this (which by the way isn’t meant to be clever or funny, just to illustrate a point. I just woke up and am therefore incapable of being clever or funny)…
“Ur So Male
By the latest female jerk to come along
Hope you hang yourself with your jockstrap
While jacking off listening to Metallica
(hey my spellchecker has the word Metallica in it- how cool is that?)
You bitch and moan about women
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
(that works for both macho and wimpy guys)
All you eat is meat, the rarer the better
And drive petrol guzzling SUVs
You’re so hard rock it’s almost an art
You need beer just to stay alive
(CHORUS)
You’re so male you don’t even like women
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like women.”
One standard for all- the men, the women, the gays, the straights, the black, the white. That's fair.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Patrick Brown's profound post above really gets to the "heart" of Ms. Perry's songs. I think much of feminism is actually an attempt to drive men back in to the suffocating emotionless gender roles that can and literally do, kill men.
I completely agree that they can't be brushed aside or trivialized as "just a song". It doesn't matter whether a sentiment is sung or spoken. It still can have great influence over the listener. That is really much more so with music in our culture as Patrick points out so well.
I still have the greatest disdain for those who write such hateful music and get away with it. It is easy, cheap and uncreative to write such crap. Why do people listen to this garbage anyway? D
July 25th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Did somebody pass a few laws that make it illegal to criticize women's thoughts about what men think?
This so-called pop star is a philosophical slut. (And a really poor guitar player.)
A stupid manufactured commodity.
A "brand."
Sorry girl. Get a cab and go home.
July 27th, 2008 at 11:50 am
The bad thing here comes from part of the lyrics them self. "I hope my boyfriend doesn't mind it."It doesn't matter if you were kissing a girl,or another boy you are still cheating on your lover.Another part that really bothers me:"I don't even know your name/It doesn't matter/You are my experimental game."You are kissing a person you don't know for the sake of experimenting,witch is really not what good girls should be doing.Good girls should respect everyone's feelings,not only there own needs.The bad thing about the song is not that she kissed a girl,but the fact that she completely destroys everything holy about the relationship between two people.
July 27th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Whether a guy is too butch or too fem it is going to confuse and threaten a certain part of the hetro (alleged hetro) female population and some artist (used very loosely here) is going to capitolize on the mindset. These proud feminists are just lonely in finding how they have marginalized themselves. There are alot of them. They really are quite stupid. Think I'll put on Neil Youngs great Zuma album and give a listen to Stupid Girl and not let this todd haynes song video ripoff bother me. Oh the OTHER.
July 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Rik,
I think "On the Beach" is really the Neil album/CD to listen closely to.
I took my daughters to see him a little while back in Chicago at a small theatre.
It was an extraordinary concert with both his classic acoustic and garage band sets.
My daughters were both crying half way through the acoustic set.
I asked why?
"It's just how he plays..."
Funny how a poet can affect people.
(Oh, they like Bob Dylan concerts too! He can actually still sing!)
July 28th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Roy, You are so right. I think there are MRAs that are in the wings ready to make people cry soon. I've been buggin' Neil and Bob on this issue. Music has alot of power still. Bob could always sing better than anyone and my daughter picked him out at 2 and he is still her favorite artist at 7 years old. Miley is closing in though.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
(Rik) - "Bob could always sing better than anyone and my daughter picked him out at 2 and he is still her favorite artist at 7 years old."
My daughter at 3 - 6 years of age used to pinch her nose closed in order to sing like Dylan.
It was really funny.
Now that I have taken her to several of Dylan's concerts, she has stopped doing that.
She seems to understand something now.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Roy, AS Bob himself has stated; "I can sing better than Caruso. I can hold my breath twice as long." Whatever, I think children know quality when they see it. My child has blown my mind many times as to what she likes. One time she told me John Fogerty sounds like Little Richard. I went back to listen to the opening of CCR Traveling Band as compared to LR 'Jenny Jenny" and was blown away to find that the 2 songs were note for note/drum for drum exactly the same!!! Leave it to the children. Todays kids are indigo and much brighter than our generation. Sound is just one of 5 senses. I kissed a girl too.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
This is the first time I have heard of the lyrics of these songs. It doesn't surprise me though. Since the 1980's, misandry has become more and more popular in western media. When I listen to the radio, I try to find a station that plays songs from the 1960's and 1970's because back then the future looked brighter. Today future is female. That is why men's fashions are generally so ugly and unfuturistic looking and women today are wearing fashions men wore back in the 1970's. As long as the male birth rate continues (from what I have observed it must be now around 20%) things will only get worse for men and will never get better.
August 20th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
I think this is a perfect example of why feminists and men's rights activists could get along if they just tried. I am a proud self-identified feminist, and I agree with everything you wrote in this piece (with the exception of your last line, "There is nothing anti-gay or anti-lesbian about the song," but we'll get to that later). About the song "Ur So Gay," you wrote, "However, I think what the song really does is mock and shame the man for not being "man enough." You recognize that there are completely absurd notions of masculinity, which seem like they're basically based on muscles and aggression. This is the
August 20th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I think this is a perfect example of why feminists and men's rights activists could get along if they just tried. I am a proud self-identified feminist, and I agree with everything you wrote in this piece (with the exception of your last line, "There is nothing anti-gay or anti-lesbian about the song," but we'll get to that later). About the song "Ur So Gay," you wrote, "However, I think what the song really does is mock and shame the man for not being "man enough." You recognize that there are completely absurd notions of masculinity, which seem like they're basically based on muscles and aggression. This is the counterpoint to the absurd notions of femininity, based on submission and meekness. All of these stereotypes, whether they are male or female, are part of the extremely rigid gender roles that society still accepts. But don't you see that these gender roles, that feminism works to break down, harm both men and women? For women, the gender roles meant that women were (and still are) expected to stay home, do the household chores, raise children, whatever - and their lingering effects, like pay inequality, are still very much rampant. For men, the gender roles meant that they were (and still are) expected to join the army and put their lives in danger over women, and that it's not culturally "acceptable" for men to show any emotion, etc.
Like I said, feminists work to break down rigid gender roles and gender stereotypes. Most feminists would argue that gender roles have been more detrimental to women than to men, but it doesn't matter - breaking down gender roles benefits both men and women. Feminism benefits both men and women. If feminism's goals are realized, men will be allowed to, if I can borrow Katy Perry's words, wear H&M scarves, listen to Mozart, read Hemingway - they'll be allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do, without worrying about archaic notions of masculinity. (There are obviously more substantive benefits of feminism for men, but I'm being somewhat facetious here).
You may argue that the song is anti-male - and I agree in some respects, that it's anti- any male who doesn't adhere to rigid gender stereotypes. But do you see that the song is also anti-female? It insults men for having "feminine" characteristics, like wearing H&M scarves. Women are so weak and stupid that a man being called feminine, as he is in the song, is the ultimate insult. Think about the worst things you can call a man - bitch, pussy, fag. The worst thing you can call a man is, basically, a woman.
This is turning into a novel, so on "I Kissed A Girl," I just want to explain very quickly why I think it's homophobic - it perpetuates the idea that the only acceptable form of lesbianism is for male pleasure ("hope my boyfriend doesn't mind it"). Kissing girls is apparently something the "bad girls" do, and not a legitimate lifestyle choice.
August 21st, 2008 at 6:37 pm
The songs insult ARTISTS!!
August 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
@Emily,
I think most men support the idea of breaking down the wall that limit the options of both men and women... but even in this task feminists choose the DENIGRATION of the masculine as their main tool, hence the problem. Even more interestingly (to me at least), they often denigrate the feminine just as rabidly (Just check out their stay at home mother discussions).
Are you truly breaking down walls when the most visible manifestation of that effort seems to rather want to MOVE the walls so that both men and women are forced into this androgynous middle ground. You'd not have any more choice than you did before... you'd just be in a different place on the masculine/feminine continuum.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
People who defend men against misandry need to make up their minds. Either Perry's song is PRO-MAN (she's bashing ONE, I repeat, ONE example of an UNMANLY man) or it is anti-male.
Because I don't see it as anti-male. I see it as bashing a GIRLY man. And I'm not particularly fond of girly men who are self-obsessed, as the song implies. Neither should anyone.
September 16th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
The backlash against K. Perry is staggering and I think a case of people taking themselves too seriously. I need that type of publicity for my "I Kissed an Earl" song. lol
September 24th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Robert Johnson is being anti-male here. How can Robert Johnson consider himself a "men's rights activist" by saying it's alright for a GIRL to bash "girly" men? A GIRL bashing a man for supposedly being "UNMANLY" is absolutely reprehensible and should NOT be tolerated. First of all, WHO is KATY PERRY, or ANY GIRL, to dictate what is, and is NOT, "manly"? I am a (heterosexual, as if I should have to clarify that anyway) man who has long hair, and who wears skirts and makeup. Who always laughs at me and gives me crap, almost without fail, for wearing those things? WOMEN and GIRLS!!! I've noticed that, for every GUY who gives me a hard time, at least TWENTY girls do. Why is that? Perhaps it's because women are threatened by us men "invading their locker room", so to speak? Katy Perry's attitude is a prime example of this. There's Perry wearing a little pink hot pants outfit and lots of makeup, thinking it's alright, of course, for HER and her FELLOW GIRLS to dress like that, but what she's saying with her song "Ur So Gay", is that WE MEN should be held to a DIFFERENT STANDARD than women, as far as enjoying freedom of gender expression. Perry's is a hypocritical attitude, by far all too common among the female half of society, and among feminists. This is called, (or what should be called, anyway) FEMALE CHAUVINIST SEXISM! What really frustrates me, is that no one, not even feminists, who claim to be all for "gender equality", or even certain men's rights activists, thinks there's anything wrong with that attitude. We men should be allowed to wear whatever we want, just like women are allowed to, without being laughed at.
I admit that I hate women and am against feminism, and girls like Katy Perry and her attitudes are precisely the reason why I do. If women and girls would only realize that they should change their OWN sexist attitudes, and they didn't write songs like "Ur So Gay", I would feel differently.
September 25th, 2008 at 12:07 am
What I think the message of Katy Perry and her song "Ur So Gay" boils down to, is that women enjoy PRIVILEGE in our society, in other words. Don't you see Perry's attitude as sexist against men, Emily?
October 7th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I totally agree with you. the bottom line is that these songs are anti-gay as much as they're the singer's desperate attempt to say "F*** you" to her ex-boyfriends or whichever men have spited her in life. It's rather pathetic, if you ask me.
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Hey, Check out the pictures of my new emo haircut
on http://tinyurl.com/5bts22
November 10th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
>=[
i do not like the song "your so gay"
i thing it was a bad idea. it is very controversal.
i not only takes the piss otta' homosexuals, it also shows hate to certain stereotype(s)
November 28th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
toturnthepeakaroundtotheback adding comment in picture :-))
January 18th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
She's not "sexist" against men. Geez...I get so tired of white males complaining. They have no idea what real discrimination feels like.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
First off, to Jessica: Neither do you. Although there is still discrimination in North America by in large it is not nearly that which you would have experienced in the past. So nor have you experience real discrimination.
But I digress, the point is I came across this type of discussion while perusing the wiki on katy perry, and thought this is ridiculous. The bottom line is:
I kissed a boy... first a little background on katy
"The middle child of two pastors,[1] she grew up listening to gospel music and singing in church." Perry stated she was not "a typical Christian," mentioning that she had done "lots of bad things" during her adolescence.
She was clearly writing about her feelings when she was growing up, doing these "bad things".
Ur so gay... its pretty obvious that shes using the gay stereotype to chastise an old boyfriend. Somewhat ignorant, but a good vehicle nevertheless. It paints a picture of metrosexual, as they are often called, so enthralled with himself he clearly didn't provide what she wanted.
May 19th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I find this offensive on a couple different fronts. First- I am both male and homosexual. And I mostly agree with Glenn Sacks' article. The lyrics to "Ur so Gay" are particularly offensive. First, I am offended that intellectualism and self-absorption are tied together. Yes I find it comical that a man or ANYONE would spend superfluous amounts of time on personal appearance. But for Perry to chastise her ex- for being more liberal in attitude as a "gay" or effeminate thing is ludicrous. Just because he likes indie rock and drives an electric car he's gay? Honey that's called being a hipster and has nothing to do with sexuality. I am offended that she portrays gay men in a light that she obviously sees as negative- overly prissy nancy-boys. I've met more gay men that spend their days working and then hitting the gym than I have ever met any who fit her ideals of gay. Which leads me to my main point- her unrealistic views of masculinity. This is most offensive to me. Gender stereotypes work both ways and society has always put incredible pressure on the male to fit a hard, tough stereotype that no one can truly be. Most men, do, in fact, have emotions. I hate that Katy Perry is desperate for some kind of raging He-Man, furthering the gender division in our society. In a perfect world, men and women would not have to fit these nonsensical personalities to be successful. People should be encouraged to express their individuality not act like Katy Perry's dream of an abusive drunkard redneck. I'm not one who gets offended easily but I detest the concept of gender roles. I also do not think feminists and pro-men's rights activists should be polarized against each other here. We should work together to overcome gender role stereotypes for both sexes, male and female. I don't think this song is anti-male, I think it is anti-nonconformity. But it definitely is anti-gay. That part doesn't really bother me as much though.
The most offensive aspect of Miss Perry is, on reflection, her failure at true music talent. In reality she is just another mindless popstar, a tool of ClearChannel and representative of their hold over the musical culture in our country. She is clearly polished and packaged for an audience lacking in free thought or social consciousness.
I actually find this issue fascinating, but alas it is dated, a year has gone by since this argument was topical so I do not expect to find new posts here. I would, however, love to see what others have to say so I'm going to leave my email here in case anyone would like to have a discussion about Katy Perry, Gender Roles, Feminism, Homophobia or the desolate state of modern music. Perhaps a visitor off of Katy Perry's Wikipedia article will peruse the comments and see this-
requinreve@gmail.com
and email me in the vein of a kind stranger!
Best wishes for all, in the end everyone is not male nor female nor gay nor straight but a human being.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:46 am
Wonderful and insightful article, Glenn. And I hold the same sentiment for a number of comments here.
I'd like to mention that your responses were particularly amazing, Emily and Nick. I'm glad to see there are people who believe the same things as I do!
And should you ever see this, Dave, I don't see how you can hate women and feminism, really I don't. My best friend is a bisexual (primarily asexual) male who also wears skirts, makeup and has long hair. Yet, he gets more shit for his feminine appearance when he is wearing pants, baggy shirts and hasn't shaved, as many men are confused about his gender (as well as women). He is often fearful of using men's restrooms for this reason.
We should all be allies in the fight for gender equality, not opponents. I'm sorry some women have been nasty to you and you are probably right, they likely do see you as treading on their female 'territory' of sorts. Women are just as sexist as men are and should not be held to any different standards of morality. I'm a girl and have have been criticized for looking too 'boyish' at times by my female friends and relatives, which is incredibly frustrating. I don't want to be boxed in and be told to adhere to any gender expectations, male or female. Dave, you would like to be treated fairly, as would women, so you should be capable of seeing their point of view. Don't judge all women and feminists because of a few bad seeds. The girls who criticized you are NOT true feminists, but chauvinists, as you said.
October 31st, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Why are we concerned about "men's issues"? They're not the oppressed gender that we must watch out for.