Last night my wife and I attended the 15-year-reunion for a Catholic School where I once taught. I taught most of the attendees World History as sophomores.

It was quite a way-back machine. I remembered some names and I recognized some faces, but didn't do too well at connecting them. Still, many of the students remembered me (fondly, believe it or not), and I enjoyed seeing them again.

One group of girls (OK, they're women now but in my mind they're still 14) formed a successful women's clothing company. My wife is familiar with and likes their products--small world that it was my former students who built it. My 10-year-old daughter--who makes clothing designs and wants to be a clothes designer when she grows up (or at least this month that's what she wants)--is going to be thrilled when I show her.

One student I wanted to see was Elena, who had been one of my favorites. She and her boyfriend Darian, who was also in my class, were expelled from the school in mid-year because Elena had gotten pregnant and had an abortion at Planned Parenthood.

The day they were expelled from school I had been out sick, and I was later told that they had come to my room after being expelled to see if I could defend them and get the expulsion reversed. I always felt a little guilty about having been out that day, though of course there was nothing I could've done about the expulsion anyway. It was quite a surprise--I had no idea she was even pregnant.

Elena and Darian were in a no-win position vis a vis the school, since they would've been expelled if she had been discovered to be pregnant, too. I remember one of my smart girls had been expelled from school for being pregnant, and when I protested to one of the Deans I was told,"The rules are the rules."

I heard a little about Elena afterwards--she was going to a new school, etc., but I fell out of touch.

I was looking for her at the party last night and when I couldn't find her I asked Cathy, who organized the event, if she knew whether Elena was coming. She got an odd look on her face, and told my wife and I:

Elena was very depressed after being expelled. She was cut off from her friends and the life she had. She got depressed and her life spiraled down.

A few years later she hanged herself. I was dating a guy whose brother was a friend of hers and he was the one who found her and cut her down.

My jaw dropped. It's still on the floor. I guess we'll never know to what degree her expulsion led to her suicide, but it certainly seems that it was a major factor. And however one feels about abortion, I've always opposed making pariahs out of scared girls who find themselves in a bad situation. 

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 21st, 2008 at 3:02 pm and is filed under Boys/Boy Crisis in Education/Schools, Reproductive Issues. You can trackback from your own site.