Hairdresser: 'The sheer volume of women who cheat was staggering...they're so good at getting away with it'
September 26th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesMichael, an Orange County, California reader, has been a hairdresser for 20 years and he says he's heard some incredible things from women in the hair salon where he works. He explains:
I have heard these same things said over and over for years from women of all walks of life yet I’ve never really heard these attitudes depicted in television, movies or any other venue. Most men would never be privy to such remarks.
It’s true what is said that people tell their hairdressers things they would never tell anyone else. I’ve heard the most incredible and bizarre tales but still have to keep a straight face. Many clients interpret the smiling nods as support and come out with the big secrets.
In this series--"Things a Hairdresser Hears"--Michael details some of the things he has heard and seen. This is of course a one-sided view, but it's an interesting one. I suppose the other side--the "bad things men do" side might be captured by a bartender or a barber. If one is reading this and would like to contribute, please email me at glenn@glennsacks.com.
Michael's Things a Hairdresser Hears (Part I)
Having been a hairdresser for 20 years I have heard some incredible things:
“How can my children be happy with him when I’m not happy with him?”
“I had to lie or he would have gotten custody.”
“It's not so bad, my children like being with me more than him.”
"Oh, he didn’t want the kids or he would have fought harder.”
"Why should I work? He’s the man."
Just the sheer volume of women who cheat on their men was staggering, and they were so good at getting away with it. The salon has several cheat couple clients who actually meet at the salon before they had their trysts.
Some of the things I would hear the hairdressers say back were equally as incredible:
"You go girl, get everything, you deserve it”
"Don’t feel guilty, all men are pigs”
"You can fall in love with a rich one as easy as a poor one”
"He’s got money, go get that one."
"Forget that one, he won't be able to take care of you the way you deserve."
"Oh, just leave him you can do better.”
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September 26th, 2008 at 11:42 am
My older daughter is a master stylist at a Chicago upscale salon. She gets $100 for a simple cut and then the meter is running if you want highlights, perm, etc.
You must wait until January 2009 to get to see her.
I don't get it, but apparently the female vanity industry is working for her.
I love to talk with her about what her female clients discuss.
It is 90% about bashing men.
And about how to successfully prey upon men.
I have asked my daughter to fix me up with one of her wealthier divorced clients, but she says she would shoot me before she would commit that crime.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Thanks to the internet and its ability to get men sharing information on a big scale like never before, we are starting to clearly diagnose some truths. It's becoming apparent that the no-fault-divorce/alimony deregulation of the 1970's was even a bigger scam than the banking deregulation of the 1990's.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
. This is of course a one-sided view, but it's an interesting one. I suppose the other side--the "bad things men do" side might be captured by a bartender.
I dunno, i thought the guys don't talk about the 'bad' things they do because the really feel bad/are ashamed of what they did.
then again it could be i'm not hanging out in the right bars. most of the bar talk i've heard has been about the chicks who are in the bar and what the guys would like to do to them.
maybe a barber instead of a bartender?
September 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I have come to notice a troubling thing when it comes to American women. The troubling thing is an unabashed sense of entitlement. I hear women say things from time to time that show them to be self centered and greedy. I also notice that advertisers picked up on this characteristic and add phrases targeting women that include items listed below. I do not see those phrases often in advertisements targeting consumption by men.
"just for you"
"you deserve it"
"pamper yourself"
"just for women"
“take time for yourself”
Comments the hairdresser heard:
"...you deserve it”
"...the way you deserve."
September 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
There was an article in the Chicago Sun-Times the other day, about how women are making most of the decisions in the home and men are just letting them run their lives.
What is wrong with men in this country? Grow some balls, fellas.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Johnny said:
"I have come to notice a troubling thing when it comes to American women. The troubling thing is an unabashed sense of entitlement. I hear women say things from time to time that show them to be self centered and greedy. I also notice that advertisers picked up on this characteristic and add phrases targeting women that include items listed below. I do not see those phrases often in advertisements targeting consumption by men.
"just for you"
"you deserve it"
"pamper yourself"
"just for women"
“take time for yourself”"
Wow! I thought I was one of the only ones who picked up on this trend. Your specific examples are very insightful. I noticed a few others too:
*Indulge yourself
*The difference is ME
*Feel "chic"
MXY
September 26th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
And yet, people think I'm crazy and being hysterical when I say that the vast majority of women hate men.....
September 26th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
"ManCan Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
There was an article in the Chicago Sun-Times the other day, about how women are making most of the decisions in the home and men are just letting them run their lives.
What is wrong with men in this country? Grow some balls, fellas."
It is because men have ALLWAYS wanted to please women. Now that many women feel no need to please a man, the tradoffs and negotions in many relationships are out of whack.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
DwS: They're allowed to hate us, but we aren't supposed to hate them back. We're just supposed to take it, and any political response on our part is considered selfish and in poor taste.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
no surprise hear (yawns)
“How can my children be happy with him when I’m not happy with him?”
I've often found that women have the mindset that if they are not happy, the people around them absolutely have no right to be happy. If the people around her have the audacity to be happy wile she is not, they are the cause of the woman's unhappiness or they are just branded the abuser. Why not? They caused the unhappiness or failed to fix it or don't care enough about her to share in her misery
I'm reminded of the time when my X left and cleaned out our joint checking account. When i asked her about it she told me she needed the money to start her new life. she had to take care of herself in order to take care of our son. so that month i had to beg/borrow/steal to pay the bills.
The thing is, she remembered to take the money but she forgot to take our son with her. She left the state and took his SSI money(he's autistic) and stayed gone over a year. Still to this day she has never admitted that what she did was wrong.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
DwS -- "And yet, people think I'm crazy and being hysterical when I say that the vast majority of women hate men....."
It is not really that women hate men.
That would require real emotion and some intellect.
Women just do not believe men are in any way significant.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@ManCan
It isn't that hey need to grow balls, rather the system took them away when they said "I do". Many men would want nothing more than to be rid of their parasitic "partner", but know if it ever came to it, their lives would be 1000x worse than it already is. With a mere snap of her finger (otherwise known as a false accusation), a woman can kick her husband out of 'their' home and keep him from 'their' children. And pity the man who has children for the courts care less about his emotional stake. It's no secret the courts see a kids father as nothing more than a walking ATM machine with no emotional side.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
"Why should I work? He’s the man."-from article
How ironic. After decades of feminists telling us how "oppressive" it is to be "chained to the stove," we hear comments like this that attest to the fact that being "chained to the plow" isn't a walk in the park either. Although comments like that are dreadfully annoying, they actually make our work cut out for us by calling attention to the fact that WORK IS SELDOM TO BE EQUATED WITH PRIVILEGE.
Men are human beings..............not beasts of burden. Thankfully, I must be one of the lucky ones. I find myself not attracted to helpless and materialistic women with old-fashioned notions of gender roles. Then again, I am not very macho and very few women find me all that attractive. Then again, I don't really care. The cool thing about being a "beta-male by choice" who refuses the "beast of burden" role is that the whole world of "female privilege" is at my fingertips.............and it is sweeter than a double chocolate mocha with whipped cream on top.
MXY
MXY
September 26th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Hi ManCan,
>There was an article in the Chicago Sun-Times the other day, about how women are making most of the decisions in the home and men are just letting them run their lives.
What is wrong with men in this country? Grow some balls, fellas.
I believe that survey to be just another BS survey by feminists to encourage men to release the reigns to women more and more and to justify anger in women when they don't.
There are a lot of things in life that men just don't want to be bothered with because they have more important things to worry about than everyday BS and it's easier to just let the woman make those small decisions on her own if she makes good, reasonable decisions on the whole.
The person who is in charge in a relationship is the one who prevails most or all of the time when the rubber meets the road and a man and woman can't totally agree and one of them puts their foot down and decides that this is the way we will do it this time, for whatever reason that is important to him. His general reasoning assumed to be because he can't live with the alternative or because he knows his way to be better for the family as a whole in the long run, based on logic rather than feelings.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
But if he can't tell her what to do when it comes to the little stuff, how can he tell her what to do when it matters? But perhaps you're right. I pray that you're right, anyway.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
P.S. For instance, my wife has a credit card and makes all the mundane everyday purchases. I retrieve and open all the mail and pay all the bills. Other than a budget which she is supposed to stay within, she never asks me before making small, everyday purchases. And I don't want to be bothered with that crapola. But if things ever got out of control as far as purchases she made, it wouldn't take me five minutes to cancel her credit card and assert my control. And I can see her credit card purchase total whenever I wish on the bank's website. In fact, as we get on in the month, she'll sometimes ask me to get her a copy of what she's spent so far (she knows nothing about computers, including how to turn one on).. And because I take care of everything in this house financial, including dealing with all companies we have to deal with, she wouldn't know how to undo whatever I did if I did cancel her credit card.
But she has her own car, goes out wherever and whenever she wants, etc. But ultimately, I am in control. Does the fact that she makes most of the spending decisions having to do with maintaining our daily household make her in charge? No way!
September 26th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Glenn,
This looks to be a good series keep it going. These comments reveal the selfishness and narcissism of the American female.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
DittoHD: I see what you're saying. But now that I think about it, we do have a ton of credit card debt in this country. I'm not so sure that most men are as prudent as you are, and suspect that women really are calling the shots (badly) in a lot of households. Not good.
September 26th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I was on a message board in which a thread spiraled into a discussion on men's and women's spending habits. A woman there mentioned that while women do spend money on a lot of little things, they are more savings-conscious than a man. She also went on to say that women probably buy more things than men, it is men who end up spending more money because the items they buy are considerably more expensive (e.g., trucks, motorcycles, electronics).
Excluding all the necessities women may purchase for a family (e.g., groceries), they will usually either spend it on things strictly for themselves, like makeup, shoes, feminine products - or - they will buy things that have absolutely no use for anyone, like a vase she had to get for the table (which will be in next year's garage sale). Men, on the other hand, may in fact buy some expensive things every so often, but they are usually functional for the entire family (e.g., a new TV that everyone gets to use).
September 26th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I have noted that a man will pay $5 for a $3 item he needs while a woman will pay $3 for a $5 item she doesn't.
September 26th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
"A woman there mentioned that while women do spend money on a lot of little things, they are more savings-conscious than a man. "
I have never seen that first hand. All of the couples I know fall into two groups:
-Both spenders
-Man responsible saver, woman spend until checks bounce
September 26th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
"they are usually functional for the entire family (e.g., a new TV that everyone gets to use)"
I remember when I bought a Playstation 3 this year. A lot of my female friends wondered why I would spend so much to "play videogames". Of course they and everyone else enjoy using it to watch Blu Ray films and having easy access to music playlists when they want to have a party.
Don't get me wrong, it is an unessential purchase, but the use is constant.
September 26th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Funny thing is I wonder what the reaction from women if this were about men sitting around a hardware store with the following comments going on:
"You go dude, get everything, you deserve it”
"Don’t feel guilty, all women are golddiggers”
"You can fall in love with a rich one as easy as a poor one”
"She got big boobs, go get that one."
"Forget that one, she won't be able to sexually please you the way you deserve."
"Oh, just leave her you can do better.”
Why is one insightful commentary but the other is misogyny?
September 26th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Because men are individuals but women are a group, and to diss one of them is to degrade them all.
September 26th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Talk about a bunch of entitlement princesses! Amazing!
September 26th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
MXY says: "I find myself not attracted to helpless and materialistic women with old-fashioned notions of gender roles. "
PK responds: New-fashioned women aren't that much different, MXY. In the post feminist era, it's now obvious that most women are fundamentally no different in their demands of men as breadwinners than 50 years ago.
My foreign-born wife was shocked when she heard a lot of similar comments where she worked. She views herself as my partner and friend and wouldn't say such things behind my back (I wish! She has to tell me EVERYTHING the moment I get home!) Seriously, though, I wonder if this is due to a breakdown overall between the genders in the states in addition to the feminist "have it all" entitlement mentality. Many couples simply don't understand each other as people and stay in role playing games their whole lives.
About the beauty salon: The customers don't represent necessarily all women anymore than what men say in strip clubs represent all men. High end beauty boutiques are going to attract a certain class of entitlement princesses. My wife loves the commercials for "Alexander De Paris" beauty clinics but she only dreams of going there (I'm going to send her for her birthday.) No woman of reasonable conscience would go there on a regular basis.
In addition, this is all maybe locker room talk. No woman wants to admit in such a setting that she's a loser who can't find a wealthy man or she'll gripe that men don't want to "commit" to a "strong woman." In our condo complex, it's not uncommon to see dozens of unattached, miserable women (they don't want to say hello.) We're looking at a real end-game of social breakdown here.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
"taidan Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
"they are usually functional for the entire family (e.g., a new TV that everyone gets to use)""
Ha ha... my wife said the same thing yesterday. I wanted to get a GPS for the car to make our trips easier. My wife said "I wanted to get you that for Christmas... men like practical and useful things".
I asked her what she wanted for her upcoming birthday... and she said she wants a necklace to match the bracelet I got her last year.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I've had plenty of female friends over the years. All races, ages, etc. One thing I can say is that men are very naive when it comes to women. Women cheat, complain about a man's looks (he's getting too fat, losing hair, etc.), his lack of sexual prowess, and chase after younger men. It appears that most men believe women don't do those things. The problem is, society tends to focus on the bad behavior of men. I firmly believe that men and women are equal when it comes to bad behavior.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
{remember when I bought a Playstation 3 this year. A lot of my female friends wondered why I would spend so much to "play videogames".}
Compare the cost of a console system with a high end PC! A ps3 is a bargain.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
{The cool thing about being a "beta-male by choice" who refuses the "beast of burden" role is that the whole world of "female privilege" is at my fingertips.............and it is sweeter than a double chocolate mocha with whipped cream on top.}
Drink up that chocolate if you can get it.
September 26th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
What amazes me is the pitiful naviety of far too many men, many would read this and remain smug in the belief that everyone elses woman might be behaving like this, but not theirs.
Anyway - are these women bad? who cares? all I know is I'm not committing to any woman and I'm doing exactly the same thing. Who really wants to turn the clock back to the days when a man got married and his sex life ended right there?
The only thing I want men to understand is that they should not under any circumstances commit to any one woman, avoiding marriage is imperative.
I think our number one aim as MRA should be to alert men and raise their awareness about this kind of thing, if only to equip them with the facts about what they'll likely be dealing with so they can make informed decisions about what and who is best for them.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
{The only thing I want men to understand is that they should not under any circumstances commit to any one woman, avoiding marriage is imperative.}
I think that's going too far. There are still good women, if you know what to look for.
September 26th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
# Johnnyp Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I also notice that advertisers picked up on this characteristic and add phrases targeting women that include items listed below. I do not see those phrases often in advertisements targeting consumption by men.
"just for you"
"you deserve it"
"pamper yourself"
"just for women"
“take time for yourself”
Comments the hairdresser heard:
"...you deserve it”
"...the way you deserve."
_______________________________
Much of those comments got popularized by Oprah. She was one of the TV favorites of women who pushed the notion "you can't take care of other's needs unless you take care of yourself first." Since her audience is primarily female she obviously was telling women this is true for women. It was said along with that other old and inaccurate saw that "women are too unselfish...they always put themselves last trying to do everything for their children, husband, family...blah blah blah."
I'm not saying women didn't have these ideas previous to Oprah. They did. I've been hearing these kinds of comments from friends, co-workers, and some from my own mother for 30 years or longer. If men could spend time in a women's restroom they'd be amazed at how women talk about men when men can't hear them. Not just talkin trash about husbands but also about their boyfriends, fathers, ex-husbands, ex-lovers, male co-workers, male bosses, and even their own sons.
As for the comment about children not being happy if mother isn't happy, there is this old saying I've seen commercialized mainly in craft stores on pillows and wall hangings and such. It says: "If Mother ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." That I think is very true. An unhappy mother or wife can create an atmosphere of carping, nagging, and ugly temperament that can make everyone else in the house absolutely miserable as well.
Since I'm a practicing Catholic I'll add that this shallow and selfish business about women putting themselves first and before others needs and happiness is the antithesis of what Christ taught. I also truly believe that real joy and happiness is found when you do things unselfishly for others (especially for husbands and children); that is doing things out of a genuine feeling of love and gratitude for having them in your life without expecting some material reward in return.
Someone above said they just wanted women to appreciate men more. I know from experience that it is true and men are very appreciative of women who treat men as though they were people, too. I really don't think that is too much to ask of women but I've not met many women who share this opinion.
September 26th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
LorMarie: "I've had plenty of female friends over the years. All races, ages, etc. One thing I can say is that men are very naive when it comes to women. Women cheat, complain about a man's looks (he's getting too fat, losing hair, etc.), his lack of sexual prowess, and chase after younger men. It appears that most men believe women don't do those things. The problem is, society tends to focus on the bad behavior of men. I firmly believe that men and women are equal when it comes to bad behavior."
Good luck adhering to this belief in such an anti-male climate. At best, your view is a minority against the majority. At worst, you'll be called a "Defender Of The Patriarchy" and scorned for it.
"Men are bad, women are angels", "Women are the missing peace", "If women were running the world, there wouldn't be war."
I'll just stick with treating both genders as having character flaws. To hell with society, even if it means losing more friends.
September 26th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
ManCan - This is the only way the MRA movement can win. Enlighten young men so they do not fall into the bear-trap called marriage. No more new marriages means pink slips for the employees of the Divorce Industrial Complex. Just as no more house-purchases meant pink slips for the Wall Street fat-cats.
The Fraudalent Marriage Contract that resulted from the 1970's feminist lobbying for no-fault-divorcece/no-fault-alimony must be allowed to die. Only after it is dead, can it be ressurected as a reformed and just institution. There is no other way around it.
September 26th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Woman live to moan. Everything is ultimately a man's fault. This is female bonding. It's basically, I'm a victim; please help me or at least like me. It works because many men come running to help. These men never read "How to win friends and influence people." The advice therein is that the person being helped doesn't treat the helper as a friend. The helper falsely believes his helpee likes him, but he is wrong. That's why the bad boy succeeds.
September 26th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
What else is new?
September 26th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Much of those comments got popularized by Oprah. She was one of the TV favorites of women who pushed the notion "you can't take care of other's needs unless you take care of yourself first." Since her audience is primarily female she obviously was telling women this is true for women. It was said along with that other old and inaccurate saw that "women are too unselfish...they always put themselves last trying to do everything for their children, husband, family...blah blah blah."
I'm not saying women didn't have these ideas previous to Oprah.--perspicacious
You have to remember that Oprah is an unmarried woman so she really isn't the best person to instruct married mothers. I'd hope that such women would take the sentiments of Oprah with a grain of salt. On the other hand, I see "taking care of yourself first" a bit differently. It would be a "blind leading the blind" situation if an unhappy person (or in this case a mother) attempted to make others happy. While I certainly don't believe that mothers should put themselves before their children, I do believe that they are allowed to make themselves happy.
September 26th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
"Men are bad, women are angels", "Women are the missing peace", "If women were running the world, there wouldn't be war."--Eagle30
ha, ha, ha, if I wonder what radical feminists think about women who want to enter combat (they do exist in case anyone didn't know).
September 26th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I would say the average man (including MRA'S) has a totally skewed viewpoint of what women are like.
Many men refuse to believe that women like sex (if you're real good at it, you know that absolutely NOTHING comes between a woman and good sex...if there's other women, most women will wait their turn before bedding someone less desireable. Ditto if she's married, in a relationship...whatever. My roommate has a saying..."Rings don't plug holes.").
many men don't understand that a good portion of the "desireability of men" comes from OTHER women wanting him (looks, money, fame, status, whatever) if she's not afraid you'll stray, she's virtually GUARANTEED to.
And many men don't believe that a LOT of women look at men as a "means to an end", not an "end" in and of itself.
Many women truly DO believe that men are quite like the neanderthal, sex-obsessed, beer-swilling stereotype.....in other words, most women are sexist....although many don't realize it. They just see men as "less" than women.
Many women ACT like the above-mentioned neanderthal, but call it "empowerment" instead.
September 26th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
ManCan --- "I think that's going too far. There are still good women, if you know what to look for."
The problem is, when the divorce occurs, that "good" woman turns very very "bad" very quickly.
So, as a man, you have to accept that women have no sense of justice or integrity (with some rare exceptional women.) They will become vicious in a heartbeat. Your lovely cupcake just became a raging vampire.....
I believe I do know what to look for.
But I will not likely find her in feminist America.
(Though I have a soft spot for deep southern Mississippi girls because they are not really American.)
September 26th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
this should be a tv show....the real sea and the city
September 26th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
All Glenn has to do to make his fortune and retire is to print out the transcripts from this site and sell them to a connected screenwriter.
And if that happens, I want my 10%!
September 26th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
i hope the truth about mens issues becomes known and acted on in my lifetime....
September 26th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
roy says: (Though I have a soft spot for deep southern Mississippi girls because they are not really American.)
_____________________________
For a short time I lived in Vicksburg, Mississippi. Does that count?
September 26th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Roy said:
"The problem is, when the divorce occurs, that "good" woman turns very very "bad" very quickly",
in response to Mancans comment saying there still are good women if you know where to look.
I say:
Roy you nailed it. It's all well and good to dream the dream of finding a good woman, as long as it stays ONLY a dream.
There is no such thing as good or bad women - there's just women with rights which can destroy your life.
I couldn't give a toss about good women, why should men have to rely on a womans good will as the only protection against ruin?
Any man who thinks there is such a thing as a good woman because he hopes one day find one does not possess the psychology of a true MRA. Mens Rights Activism is about liberating men from burden, expectation, the tyranny of ruling elites and women - so that every individual man may pursue whatever constitutes happiness to him.
September 26th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Any man who thinks there is such a thing as a good woman because he hopes one day find one does not possess the psychology of a true MRA. Mens Rights Activism is about liberating men from burden, expectation, the tyranny of ruling elites and women - so that every individual man may pursue whatever constitutes happiness to him.--Jules
How are you any different from radical feminists?
September 26th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
How are you any different from radical feminists
Simple, I'm not advocating killing women, murdering babies or claiming that consesual sex between men and women is witchcraft used by women to enslave men.
Well actually, strike off that last one.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
LorMarie -- "Any man who thinks there is such a thing as a good woman because he hopes one day find one does not possess the psychology of a true MRA."
But then LorMarie, what happens to love?
September 26th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
LorMarie --- "How are you any different from radical feminists?"
Well, just for starters ....
we are logical. And fairly objective.
And our estrogen levels are low.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
LorMarie -- "Any man who thinks there is such a thing as a good woman because he hopes one day find one does not possess the psychology of a true MRA."
But then LorMarie, what happens to love?--roy
I didn't say that.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
LorMarie: "ha, ha, ha, if I wonder what radical feminists think about women who want to enter combat (they do exist in case anyone didn't know)."
Or how they feel about historical warriors like Joan Van Arc for that matter.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
perspicacious --- "For a short time I lived in Vicksburg, Mississippi. Does that count?"
That is a really interesting historical reference. Because the battle for Vicksburg was a decisive point in the Civil War.
I don't have any idea if your short experience in Vicksburg qualifies you as truly southern.
So far, I detect no accent.
September 27th, 2008 at 1:37 am
"you can't take care of other's needs unless you take care of yourself first."
The problem is a lot of those women only hear, " take of yourself. " Nothing wrong with making sure you taken care. But when you start doing it to the intentional detriment of other people then there's a problem.
September 27th, 2008 at 2:30 am
A few pieces of advice:
Always maintain a separate individual account for yourself in some offshore location such as the Cayman Islands and Switzerland. Also, make sure that this account has at least 5 times more money than the amount of money you place into a joint account with the wife or girlfriend.
Do not share a credit card with your wife under any circumstances. Any credit card she has must have only her name, and should be paid only by her.
If you think your wife or girlfriend is having an affair or stealing money, then hire a private investigator to look into suspicious activity.
If you have to get a divorce and have no children with the wife, than look for a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S., pack your stuff, and re-locate there.
Establish lobbying groups to promote the abolition of no-fault divorce laws, no-fault alimony payments, sole-custody parenting laws, and asset-division laws.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:28 am
"Jules Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
What amazes me is the pitiful naviety of far too many men, many would read this and remain smug in the belief that everyone elses woman might be behaving like this, but not theirs.
...
The only thing I want men to understand is that they should not under any circumstances commit to any one woman, avoiding marriage is imperative. "
I thought the same way as Jules for many years... but that can be a painful option. Not having a close companion for life can be lonely. After a while, serial dating becomes empty.
Many women in the US suffer from a terrible cultural rot that had destroyed their character and suitability as a partner in life.
I think I found a solution (and pray that I am right). I went abroad and found a woman from another culture.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:35 am
"Danny Says:
September 27th, 2008 at 1:37 am
"you can't take care of other's needs unless you take care of yourself first."
The problem is a lot of those women only hear, " take of yourself. " Nothing wrong with making sure you taken care. But when you start doing it to the intentional detriment of other people then there's a problem."
The idea of "taking care of yourselft" before you can take care of others is based on myth. It might be a valid concept for a person who is truely self sacraficing and neglecting themselves.
I think the popular belief that women are "self sacrificing" servants of others is based on a myth. Maybe 1 in 200 women are naturally servants to others... but the society takes that rare example and gives all women credit for that behavior.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:43 am
the funny thing is...men know what women are up to and STILL get caught in the end game of divorce, loss of family and friends and all the other insane issues that pop up until your mind just goes numb and it is all for sex. that's it. sex. i am as guilty as the next guy. 3 times. my brain can't even wrap around 3 times any more.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Do we really need a hairdresser, or anybody to really tell us this? All you have to do is turn on your tv to hear the same crap. Thanks Michael for the stories. I will admit though that I have gone to the same barber for 20 years, and he has listened to me complain about 2 divorces and the struggles I have endured since, and always gets me to laugh about something. But I also know that if I told him that I did something to intentionally hurt one of my ex-wives, that there really would not be any humor in it. That is the difference. Women for the most part find humor in causing pain to a man, and that is validated by America's Funniest Home Videos.
September 27th, 2008 at 11:25 am
You know, I have concluded that men who have not had the advantage of creating and raising daughters can have a hard time understanding how women think.
They really just want to be appreciated. Admired and worshipped. 24 x 7.
Regardless of how they behave.
They are like cats.
Completely indifferent to your effort to train them. But very interested in being fed.
But if you like cats, that is no problem.
September 27th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Roy, don't pick on cats!
Roy, I had cats that were pretty much self-sufficient including how they got their food. My tomcat regularly ate the pigeons around the apartment complex (and brought a few home with him, live!) but... he still appreciates the home and attention he was given AND returned it in kind.
Some cats don't like humans very much but that's more in their independent nature than smugness. What's wonderful about cats is that they really are open to communication within their limits. They can't easily be "trained" or tricked like dogs, or men.
September 27th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
"That would require real emotion and some intellect.
Women just do not believe men are in any way significant."
I wish I'd seen this one earlier.
Roy, how can you criticise misandric comments by women you don't even know and then say that women don't have 'real emotion' or 'intellect'.
Do you even realise how much of a hypocrit you are?
September 27th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
@Roy
LOL! That's funny.
_____________________
Johnnyp said:
I thought the same way as Jules for many years... but that can be a painful option. Not having a close companion for life can be lonely.
It would only be lonely if you can only find fulfillment and self realisation in pairing up with some female and binding yourself to her in wholly,/i> matri-money.
You are a perfect example of what I'm talking about, still harbouring the delusion that there are still some "good women" out "there". Ooh!
Well I don't think there ever were good women - women mostly behaved themselves because NOT behaving themselves came with consequences. Now that there are no longer any consequences for (womens) bad behaviour we are beginning to learn and understand why females were so tightly regulated in the past.
After a while, serial dating becomes empty.
Correction - serial monogamy leads to emptiness.
I think I found a solution (and pray that I am right). I went abroad and found a woman from another culture.
Ah! the predictable "the grass is greener over there" - solution.
Sheesh!
Some men will go to any length or rather distance to find that elusive good woman.
Just shows me that's it's going to take a very long time to liberate men from their dependency/addiction to -
P***Y.
September 27th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
There are good women: women who don't lie, aren't greedy, are never violent or abusive in any way, and who won't crimp your style.
Lots of luck finding them, but they are there.
September 27th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
P.K.-- All my favorite pets have been cats. I just appreciate their nature.
I especially like siamese cats, because they are amazingly terrible if you insult them.
I had this one siamese cat that could never be taken to the veterinarian's office, because he would destroy it if you even tried to stick a needle in his backside.
I sold that cat for $74,000 dollars and gave the buyers a house for free.
He lived out his life on his territory, which was all I cared about at the time.
It was actually written into the sale contract for the house that the cat got to live there until he died.
September 27th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
callum --- "Roy, how can you criticise misandric comments by women you don't even know and then say that women don't have 'real emotion' or 'intellect'.
Do you even realise how much of a hypocrit you are?"
I ask the girls all the time to explain and illuminate their logic and emotion.
They rarely reply.
I am starting to think they have either a diabolical plan, or no ideas whatsoever.
September 27th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
David Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 11:45 am
"Thanks to the internet and its ability to get men sharing information on a big scale like never before, we are starting to clearly diagnose some truths."
Yup. Good point. And thanks to Glenn we get to read about those comments from Michael. Otherwise, people would gravitate to the notion that women just aren't capable of such talk and resulting actions.
With a little osmosis and more time we should be able to openly discuss everywhere in public what we are discussing civily here. I hope that such discussion always remains civil. We really need to have the capacity to recognize things for what they are and then deal with them in an appropriately balanced constructive manner.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
PK, your wife works outside the home to supplement your income, yet you say that YOU are the one footing the bill for her to have a luxurious afternoon at "Alexander De Paris".
I don't understand that at all ........... Seems she has earned her afternoon of luxury with or without you. Do you see?
September 27th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
roy, how have i EVER not used "logic" when debating with you on ..... uh ... stuff?
September 27th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Why is it that when a woman earns the money it's "hers," and when the man earns the money it's... "hers?"
September 27th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
# Georgia Girl Says:
September 27th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
PK, your wife works outside the home to supplement your income, yet you say that YOU are the one footing the bill for her to have a luxurious afternoon at "Alexander De Paris".
I don't understand that at all ........... Seems she has earned her afternoon of luxury with or without you. Do you see?
______________________________
PK clearly stated he was sending her there as a Birthday Present. Do you usually buy your own birthday presents?
September 27th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
mancan:
"Why is it that when a woman earns the money it's "hers," and when the man earns the money it's... "hers?"
You're confusing me .... Because I've always been under the impression that the money earned is "theirs" .... and not his or hers
September 27th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
As far as wives confessing indiscretions to their haridressers, why do we hear day in and day on the "news" that MEN are the cheaters --- not women. I spose the latest story is John Edwards?
September 27th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
And to top it off, we hear that so-called "respected" congreemen are pedafiles? well, at least one.
and wasn't it the NJ governor who turned out GAY ...... keeping his wife in the dark for all those years?
I think "confessions to haridressers" are a lot of BS ...... equivalent to "locker room talk".
September 27th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
“It is not really that women hate men.
That would require real emotion and some intellect.”
roy, most of your posts are unintelligible, incoherent claptrap which contribute as much to the debate as sugar does to a petrol tank. You are the last person to criticize anyone, male or female, for lacking intellect. Take for example the above quote. Its logical structure comes down to this...
Premise One-Hatred requires both “real emotion” and “some intellect”.
Premise Two-Women have neither “real emotion” nor “some intellect”.
Therefore, women cannot hate.
Logically this is valid in that if the premises were true the conclusion would also be true, however, even though valid, the argument is unsound as neither of the premises are true.
The first premise is wrong in that even though hatred does require “real emotion” it requires only a very basic cognitive ability that is, conventionally, not what is meant by “some intellect.” A person who is retarded or brain damaged is capable of hating, so unless you are going to re-define “some intellect” as something which is possessed by a drooling vegetable, your premise does not hold.
Your second premise is even weaker as it is self-evident that the majority of women possess at least “some intellect”, keeping in mind that “some” is a quantity that lies somewhere between “none” and “a lot”. Whereas “some” and “a lot” are vague quantities, there is nothing equivocal about “none”, so we know from their ability to operate simple machinery and co-ordinate their wardrobes that most women possess “some intellect”.
As for the idea that women lack “real emotion”, at the start of the French revolution a horde of angry women stormed the palace at Versailles with the intention of hacking the queen to pieces- if that doesn’t qualify as “real” emotion, what the hell does it qualify as ? Slight annoyance?
Here’s another syllogism for you...
Premise One-Demonstrably wrong premises can lead to nothing but a wrong conclusion.
Premise two- Your premises are wrong.
Therefore- You are wrong.
“I ask the girls all the time to explain and illuminate their logic and emotion.
They rarely reply.”
That’s probably because they know their dear old dad’s gone daffy and that his toothless ravings are best ignored.
September 27th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
michael, you're getting awfully testy over silly nonsense~~~ that is not like you~!
September 27th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
G. Girl,
I am tempted to ask you to stuff your logical stuff.
But then, you have been always fair and even somewhat provoking.
So, why should I complain?
Really all I care about is your voice. Keep writing.
I also like your butt. The grammatical one.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am
well, that's just about the most romantic thing I've ever heard *auk*
and, it's 9:30 and you know how i love to sleep :)
September 28th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Yeah, and you out to hear what the lawyers and judges say about divorcing men. (Sap deserves to pay us.)
September 28th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Women are just as prone to unscrupulous behaviour as male Judges.
Has 'to all' posted here yet ?
Hmmm. Assume 7 times, spin around three times, spin around in the other direction 3.14 times and think backwards for the rest of your life. Voila ! NOW you have it.
September 28th, 2008 at 10:58 am
women still have the image as nurturers.....the truth needs to come out
September 28th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Georgia, look.
This virtual flirtation is just political.
I am the least romantic man you would ever meet.
Well, maybe not.
Just continue to write. You are amusing and intelligent.
So, how do you feel about Sarah Palin?
She is kind of cute.
Maybe we should try a cute President instead of a dumb one?
September 28th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
G. Girl -- " well, that's just about the most romantic thing I've ever heard ..."
Georgia, you set a very low standard for romance.
Flirt now. It's OK.
My only intention is to display how easy it is ......
September 28th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Sometimes, Jehovah's Witnesses have a point
perspicacious Says: "PK clearly stated he was sending her there as a Birthday Present. Do you usually buy your own birthday presents?"
PK adds: I have come to hate holiday presents and sympathize with what I hear is something certain religious sects do: To outlaw birthday celebrations and presents altogether.
I don't take it that far, I like the cake and song and all, but I know that presents are "free" and children are fooled into believing so and develop these values later in life (hmmm, the origins of socialism?) Not only are some presents gluttonous but openly wasteful as the poor recipient winds up having to dump bad gifts at a garage sale. In my case, GG has a point in that couples don't really "give" gifts to each other. They come out of the marital common pool and consequently aren't really "gifts" at all. That's why I don't want gifts from my birthday.
For my wife, the stuff she gets for her birthday are things she wanted to do for a while but just wanted to match to a special occasion. It reminds me of Russians I knew who whenever they wanted to drink, would wikipedia up the date to find a dead Russian hero to drink to. All I want personally is a nice card, a cake, and a special dinner.
Some friends of mine give even their youngest children allowances and have them buy their own toys on a budget and have only small presents at Christmas and birthdays.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
blame the liberal medai too....they are the ones that love to feed us male bashing and kick up the dirt...political correctness..........women have it all today......men are the ones at risk.....health,educations,criminal and divorce courts
September 28th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
PK you are right that for husband's and wives' the gifts come from their shared money (at least in healthy marriages between two adults). Still there is something to that age old adage that "it is the thought that counts." In a moment of loving generosity, you spontaneously indicated you wanted to do something special for a wife you obviously dearly love and appreciate. That is a beautiful thing and I regret that you felt a need to discount even a little bit in response to my and GG's remarks. Your wife is a lucky woman just as much as you are a lucky man to have such a love.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
perspicacious (can i call you perspy?),
PK, is a pussy cat .... Wifey has him wrapped around her lil finger.
That's the beauty of a good marriage. She deserves his generosity ..... and he deserves hers ...... Hey, whatever works!
And, he knows that *I* know that ..... there is something to be said for "traditional" roles.
and please, perspy, don't goo goo PK too much .... i don't want him getting a swelled head
September 28th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Georgia Girl Says: and please, perspy, don't goo goo PK too much .... i don't want him getting a swelled head
______________________
LOL. If you only knew... But I won't spill the beans if PK doesn't.
About the swelled head...it may be way too late to worry about that. LOL.
September 28th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
G. Girl -- "i don't want him getting a swelled head,,,"
That proves you are actually a southern girl!
Do you realize that the phrase "swell-headed" was invented in Jamaica in the late 1960's?
You have to own a few hundred classic reggae albums to research this, so I guess you will just have to trust me.
OK Georgia.
Let's not diss each other anymore.
But you never give any sugar....
September 28th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
perspicacious ..... LOL. If you only knew....
So, why not just post your story?
Just write it girl!
September 28th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
no it wasn't roy .... the phrase was coined in georgia in 1932 ..... then some crazy jamaican got all the credit -- :)
georgia never gets credit for anything except grits
September 28th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
GeorgiaGirl Says: georgia never gets credit for anything except grits
____________________________
What about Vidalia onions? And peaches?
September 28th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
# roy Says:
September 28th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
perspicacious ..... LOL. If you only knew....
So, why not just post your story?
Just write it girl!
_____________________
Nope.
September 28th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
oh Yes! how could i forget Vidalia onions and Peaches ..... !
i think i'll make some peach cobbler .... with them sugar dumplins' on top
How did you know about the onions?
September 28th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Georgia Girl Says: How did you know about the onions?
________________
I bought some once a long time back when I drove through Georgia on my way to Florida. The best damned onions I've ever tasted.
September 28th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
he's probably watching da' Bears
21-14
who woulda guessed?
ain't over yet though
September 28th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
did you happen to make onion pie? it is sooo delish
September 28th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
i'm getting homesick :( ......
i should buy a batch of collard greens and hogs jowl
September 28th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Georgia Girl Says:
did you happen to make onion pie? it is sooo delish
My response: Are you serious? I never heard of an onion pie.
Georgia Girl Says:
i'm getting homesick :( ......
i should buy a batch of collard greens and hogs jowl
I had mustard greens when I lived in Mississippi and they were delicious but hogs jowls and chitterlings...no thanks. Also, I never liked those peas that look back at you.
September 28th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
well, actually, the thought of hogs jowl or chitlins sorta nauseates me, but i love the black eyed peas. Next time you buy a bag of Vidalias, i'll send you that onion pie recipe. I think you can order the onions on-line .... and also white lily flour for real biscuits *lol (i haven't done that in years)
September 28th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
i can tell she's too overjoyed to speak ~~~~
September 29th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Georgia Girl Says: and please, perspy, don't goo goo PK too much .... i don't want him getting a swelled head
perspicacious Says: " "LOL. If you only knew... But I won't spill the beans if PK doesn't.
About the swelled head...it may be way too late to worry about that. LOL."
PK responds: It's funny that I spent most of my life in an environment where I received very little encouragment and praise. So now when I get even a few tidbits of appreciation, I enjoy them that much more.
perspicacious Says: "In a moment of loving generosity, you spontaneously indicated you wanted to do something special for a wife you obviously dearly love and appreciate."
PK responds: I have a few funny stories about spontaneity. A friend bought an anniversary card for his wife and he went home and while she was taking his pants to be cleaned, she fished out the receipt and sneered that he had only just bought it. So he took the card away from her and said he wouldn't give her one then. There are men who get in trouble for forgetting anniverseries and birthdays (that's rather tough for me since I fill out all these forms with my wife's birthdate so I know it by heart.)
After seeing and hearing about birthdays and holidays gone dreadfully bad, I have a more stoic approach to them and view them as useful times to relax and enjoy a drink, maybe a slice of cake, and think about life. A year goes by and it's useful to put into context what I should be grateful for and what needs to be done. Gifts and party preparations can sometimes suck the very air out of what the holidays were meant for in the first place (Yeah, I know that's nothing original with some people complaining about the holidays.)
My wife likes this fru-fru beauty clinic because of the commercials. I tell her that's all hype and she's now getting it (she has discovered that red lobster isnt as great as it looks on TV).
September 29th, 2008 at 10:45 am
G. Girl re: "swell-headed --- " the phrase was coined in Georgia in 1932."
Is that true?
Because when I lived in Kingston JA. in the 1980's and was hanging out with Bob Marley and the Clash at Channel One studiois, that was the first time I heard that term.
I really hate it when I get a historical reference incorrect.
So please, provide the actual scholarly citation.
September 29th, 2008 at 10:51 am
perspicacious -- "Nope."
Girl. You can't say that and get away with it.
You have to write your story!
I am pretty sure you have an interesting one to tell.
Everybody will like it and you will get a lot of satisfaction from revealing it.
Just give it a try.
September 29th, 2008 at 11:02 am
That was pretty funny reading two southern girls arguing about how to cook up greens!
I'm still laughing...
Ever had to skin and cook breadfood from the tree in your backyard?
Ever had to crack a coconut?
Ever had to cut the head off of a little barracuda? So you could eat him?
You girls are so precious.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
roy Says:
September 29th, 2008 at 11:02 am
That was pretty funny reading two southern girls arguing about how to cook up greens!
__________________________
While I'd love to claim I was a southern girl (preferably a belle), I can't honestly say that. I'm a Yankee born and bred who had the delightful experience of once living in the Deep South for about a year.
Georgia Girl - I wasn't too overjoyed to speak. I just went to bed. Should have said good night first. Sorry about that.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
The girls like to sleep.
I have never been able to figure that out.
Because sleeping is the last thing on my mind when I am in bed with a woman.
I guess it is the Evil Patriarchy, once again.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
perspy, next time please announce when you're going to bed, so that i don't sit on the edge of my seat ..... that was cruel *lol
*notice how i skipped over the patriarchy in south chicago*
September 29th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Georgia Girl Says:
September 29th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
perspy, next time please announce when you're going to bed, so that i don't sit on the edge of my seat ..... that was cruel *lol
My response: It was cruel. I promise I won't do that again.
Georgia Girl says: *notice how i skipped over the patriarchy in south chicago*
My response: The Patriarchy is in south Chicago? No one told me. I fear they're getting too close for comfort. LOL.
September 29th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
No no, we moved the HQ to Des Moines last year....er......nevermind....
\
September 30th, 2008 at 12:51 am
roy Says:
September 29th, 2008 at 10:45 am
G. Girl re: "swell-headed --- " the phrase was coined in Georgia in 1932."
Is that true?
Because when I lived in Kingston JA. in the 1980's and was hanging out with Bob Marley and the Clash at Channel One studiois, that was the first time I heard that term.--Roy
Sounds like you've had an exciting life.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
but, who is bob marley and the crash -- lormarie/roy
September 30th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Bob Marley was a reggae star who died in the early 80's. The Clash was a British punk rock group popular in the late 70's early 80's. If I am not mistaken, the lead singer is dead.
October 1st, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Hey Glenn, you and the hairdresser should go on the Tom Leykis show, this would make a great topic.