Death of Steve McNair--Domestic Violence by Women Is Not Uncommon, Says Public Health Specialist
July 9th, 2009 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & Families.jpg)
Former NFL star Steve McNair was shot dead in his sleep last week by a 20-year-old girlfriend, police said Wednesday. While there are over 10,000 media entries on Google News for "Steve McNair," hardly one of them is paired with the phrase "domestic violence."
Fathers and Families' Ned Holstein, MD, a public health specialist, explains:
Violence by women against their male partners is often ignored or not labeled as domestic violence by the media, law enforcement, the judicial system, and the domestic violence establishment, which are still stuck in the outdated ‘man as perp/woman as victim’ conception of DV. This has serious consequences for children exposed to their mothers’ violence.
Domestic violence by women against men isn’t rare. Over 200 studies have found that women initiate at least as much violence against their male partners as vice versa. Men comprise about a third of domestic violence injuries and deaths.
The most recent large scale study of DV was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health. The study, which surveyed 11,000 men and women, found that, according to both men’s and women’s accounts, 50% of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties). In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike. Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70% of the time.
Holstein, MD says:
As a result of the tendency to ignore domestic violence by women, many children are placed in the custody of violent mothers instead of non-violent, fit fathers. Yet research shows that women's violence, like men’s, is tightly correlated with family violence injury risks to all parties— including children. Ignoring female-on-male violence undermines efforts to raise children in violence-free homes.
Holstein, MD adds:
Many commentators are criticizing McNair because his murder revealed that he was apparently having an extramarital affair. This is another double-standard on men & DV--it’s very hard to imagine the media criticizing a married woman who was gunned down by her boyfriend.
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July 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Being in Baltimore, I've seen the people here take the death of McNair pretty hard. While he faded in his last stretch with the Ravens, his arrival saw some good results and helped light an eventual firecracker under the team. Once the cause of his death spreads, I wonder if there will be any reaction.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Ahh! The eternal double-standard for men and women. Will any one open their eyes?
July 9th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I wonder if Mr. Mcnair was facing abuse at home? There have been several stories over the past few years about retiring athletes returning to a an abusive home. Chuck Finley comes to mind.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I was waiting for this post. I was surprised when I read that it was his girlfriend.
Feministing loves to go after pro sports players when they beat up their wives/girlfriends, particularly football. Their silence on this is deafening but predictable.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Did anyone else notice how long it took this incident to be labled a "murder/suicide?" When a man commits this crime, the press and police immediately call it "an apparent murder/suicide." And yes, we never hear of the woman's indiscretion if there is one.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
CJ said: "Feministing loves to go after pro sports players when they beat up their wives/girlfriends, particularly football. Their silence on this is deafening but predictable."
Indeed, but consider you're talking about feminists here. It's a fact that modern feminism is dedicated to maintaining and enhancing female privilege and power over men, not equality between the sexes. Therefore, silence from them on this issue is expected. Besides, pointing out this obvious case of DV would only hinder their propaganda campaign to portray DV as mostly men abusing women.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
This is such a tragedy, mostly for the four young boys left behind.
I would like to hear from Jeremy on this incident since he considers women are sugar and spice etc.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Kurt - I heard it called an apparent murder suicide over the weekend, but it was placing the speculative blame on McNair.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I've heard and read how athletes have a hard time adjusting to home life once they retire. This may or may not have been the case for Mr. McNair. No matter the circumstances, it was inexcusable for him to have relationship(s) outside of his marriage. It's really hard to listen to ex-coaches, ex-teammates, etc talk about how much of a great family man he was knowing that he was cheating on his wife.
The only thing we can hope is that domestic violence by women will be taken more seriously because of this tragedy.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Taidan:
It is interesting that commentators would speculate that he was the perpetrator in a murder/suicide when he was shot four times and she only once!
July 9th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Funny how very quickly the news reporters were saying his wife was not a suspect, basically when the story first broke. We now know that the girlfriend did it. But I was scratching my head, I mean come on she (the wife) definately would have had a motive.
Of course, had the roles been reveresed and his wife was dating outside the marriage and her lover killed them both, right away the press and police no doubt would have stated that McNair was a possible suspect. Oh the double standards. And no it is was not okay for him to cheat on his wife, but he did not deserve to be murdered for it. R.I.P. Mr. McNair, and my prayers go out to your wife and kids.
A bit of satire, I can't help it. I guess we need more public service annoucements, to let more women know that they can kill with impunity their lovers, husbands, basically the men in thier lives. It's so sad that this girl never new she could have just killed him and went on with her life, living as a vicitm under the pretense of false allegations. The media needs to give women like Mary Winkler more air time so we can get more women to see that they need not murder themselves after murdering their men. Their life can go on as if nothing ever happened.
cdub
July 9th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Yeah, I was wondering why this incident hasn't been referred to as "domestic violence." There's also the fact that, at least to my knowledge, there has not been any questions raised as to whether Steve McNair suffered any sort of abuse at the girl's hands before this occurred.
If the media is going to stick the DV label to a situation where the man kills his wife/girlfriend and then himself, even when there has not been any prior abuse, then they need to refer to incidents such as this as DV as well.
I know it's been said many times already, but it bears repeating: DV is no respector of gender.
Feminists, stop drinking the Kool-Aid, and stop trying to give it to the rest of us!
July 9th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
where are our moral compasses on this one...Where are the duke 88??
July 9th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
After the Chris Brown incident the media went on a domestic violence binge. That is all we heard about for months.
After the McNair murder there is SILENCE.
Chris Brown caused injuries that seemed to be like a fat lip and some swelling.
McNair is dead.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:32 am
Perhaps I've missed something, but based on the news accounts I've seen, it isn't entirely clear that McNair was having an affair. We're told that this happened in his rented condo, so apparently, he and his wife had separated. (It's possible that they planned to divorce, and had both agreed that the other could see other people.) We're told that he sometimes visited his "girlfriend's" apartment, so it seems that he wasn't living with his girlfriend.
For all we know for certain, it's possible that McNair had decided he'd allow himself to have a close relationship with another person, but without going "all the way" with her until, and unless, he did eventually divorce his wife. Impossible? No, it isn't, and I can say that from personal experience. I myself had a close relationship with a woman who was in a terrible marriage (both of them were at fault, for a number of reasons). But we both committed to avoid going too far, and we kept that commitment, out of respect both for us as well as for her husband. She's now back with him and they're working on their problems, and I respect her for that.
So, did McNair cheat? Probably he did, but possibly he didn't. I'd wonder if maybe, just maybe, he REFUSED to have a full affair with his so-called "mistress", and if her resulting jealousy and anger may have contributed to her decision to murder him. As in, "all right, you've been buying me expensive stuff and hanging out with me, but you just won't violate your marriage vows? Well if I can't have you, nobody can!"
In any event, I have to agree with the sentiment of "Holstein, MD": "Many commentators are criticizing McNair because his murder revealed that he was apparently having an extramarital affair. This is another double-standard on men & DV--it’s very hard to imagine the media criticizing a married woman who was gunned down by her boyfriend." ...AMEN !!!
July 10th, 2009 at 2:57 am
A few months ago, news sites reported the story of a billionaire German woman who'd been having an affair. It seems that the "cad" had, er, "seduced" her, taken photos of the both of them in compromising positions, and had then used the photos to try to blackmail her into paying him millions. (Blackmail, by the way, is less bad than murder.)
Invariably, the general wording and tone of the news reports was to the effect that another woman was being victimized by another male perpetrator.
Sadly, the comments from the readers of those sites were even worse. Nearly every comment made by every reader of every story on every news site, regarding that incident, bent over backwards to excuse the woman and to blame various men: The "cad" had "seduced" her. She was "powerless" (a billionaire?). Her and her husband must surely have had an "open marriage".
Or her husband must have abused her. The jerk! Why else would she have looked for love elsewhere? "You go girl" was a frequent remark, and the woman herself was quoted as saying something along the lines of "I'm coming forward about this in order to protect and to represent all women who have been victimized by men!" Um, whatever.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
[...] "Steve McNair," hardly one…paired with phrase "domestic violence." http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3968 2009-07-10 13:54:22 · Reply · View Rock104FM: Thanks to News 7's Mitch [...]
July 10th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
This reminds me of when Phil Hartman was killed. Nobody called that domestic violence either.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Will Dr. Holsteon or anyone provide a more concise source for the Harvard DV study? I am unable to find a published source of this study without more details. (eg: when the study was published, what issue of The American Journal of Public Health did the study results appear in.) thanks D.
Dennis--it can be found at http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/97/5/941. Also see http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=2696--GS
July 11th, 2009 at 3:26 am
Dennis you can also find it here:
http://www.patienteducationcenter.org/aspx/HealthELibrary/HealthETopic.aspx?cid=M0907d
and here
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/42/15/31-a
July 11th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Thanks much, Tyr, D.
July 11th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Let us not forget that this was all over jealousy. Steve Mcnair was seen with another woman so this warranted he be shot to death by his girlfriend.
b
August 18th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
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