Group of 50 Mental Health Experts Pushing to Add Parental Alienation to DSM
November 2nd, 2009 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesNow 23, divorced, and a parent herself, Anne has recognized only recently that she was manipulated, that her long-held view of her father isn't accurate. They live 2,000 miles apart but now try to speak daily. "I've missed out on a great friendship with my dad," she says. "It hurts."
A group of 50 mental health experts from 10 countries are part of an effort to add Parental Alienation to the 2012 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the American Psychiatric Association's "bible" of diagnoses. According to psychiatrist William Bernet, this "would spur insurance coverage, stimulate more systematic research, lend credence to a charge of parental alienation in court, and raise the odds that children would get timely treatment."
Few family law cases are as heartbreaking as those involving Parental Alienation. In PA cases, one parent has turned his or her children against the other parent, destroying the loving bonds the children and the target parent once enjoyed.
Numerous misguided feminist groups oppose recognition of Parental Alienation in court or in DSM. Some of these opponents raise legitimate concerns. For example, Janet Johnston, a feminist-oriented clinical sociologist/justice studies professor, fears that PAS could be invoked by an abusive parent to gain rights to a child.
She is correct--this can happen. One example is the Joyce Murphy case in San Diego--to learn more, see my post Feminist Opponents of Shared Parenting Get It Right in Parental Alienation/Abuse Accusation Case. The solution to Johnston's concern is to have courts make thorough, unbiased investigations into abuse claims.
It also true, as some opponents of recognizing Parental Alienation assert, that there are fathers (or mothers) who have alienated their own children through their personality defects or lack of parenting skills, and who attempt to shift the blame to their children’s mothers (or fathers) by falsely claiming PAS.
However, some opponents of recognizing Parental Alienation are on the lunatic fringe, denying that Parental Alienation exists at all, and spinning fantasies of masses of mothers losing custody to molesting fathers. In most of the cases put forth in the media by these extremists, no abuse occurred and the mothers only lost custody of their children after going way out of their way to destroy the relationship between the children and their fathers. Some examples of these frauds include the Genia Shockome, Sadia Loeliger, and Holly Collins cases
Even if many claims of Parental Alienation were false--and there's no evidence to suggest this--it still would not mean that opponents' assertions that PA doesn't exist are credible. In family law cases, false accusations of any and all types of maltreatment, including PA, are used to gain advantage. Since false accusations of domestic violence and child sexual abuse are common, should we then conclude that battering and molestation don't exist?
Another issue opponents of recognizing Parental Alienation have latched on to is the debate over whether Parental Alienation should by considered a syndrome. They then argue that if it's not a syndrome, it can't be real. I believe the assertion that Parental Alienation is a "syndrome" is defensible, but regardless, the key fact is that alienating behavior and Parental Alienation campaigns exist and are a major problem in divorce.
Johnston also asserts that in teens, a level of parental rejection appearing similar to Parental Alienation might be a developmentally normal response. This assertion is questionable. Johnston is correct that many teens reject their parents to various degrees. However, there's a difference between this and active alienation.
Several of my wife's male friends have been alienated from their teenage children, and many of them try to mask their pain by shrugging and saying, "You know how teenagers are." Well, I do, and I don't buy it. For example, my 17-year-old son is convinced that I'm a hopelessly out of touch old loser, and I certainly don't disagree with him. Still, he clearly loves me, and will sometimes (grudgingly) acknowledge it. That's not Parental Alienation, which is far more visceral.
The new U.S. News & World Report article Parental Alienation: A Mental Diagnosis? (11/2/09) covers the efforts of Parental Alienation experts to get PA accepted by DSM. I suggest that readers comment on the piece by sending Letters to the Editor at letters@usnews.com.
In it, author Lindsay Lyon writes:
From an early age, Anne was taught by her mother to fear her father. Behind his back, her mom warned that he was unpredictable and dangerous; any time he'd invite her to do anything—a walk in the woods, a trip to the art store—she would craft an excuse not to go. "I was under the impression that he was crazy, that at any moment he could just pop and do something violent to hurt me," says Anne, who prefers that only her middle name be used to guard her family's privacy.
Typical of a phenomenon some mental-health experts now label "parental alienation," her view of him became so negative, she says, that her mother persuaded her to lie during a custody hearing when the couple divorced. Then 14, she told the judge that her dad was physically abusive. Was he? "No," she says. "But I was convinced that he would [be]." After her mother won custody, Anne all but severed contact with her father for years.
If a growing faction of the mental-health community has its way, Anne's experience will one day soon be an actual diagnosis. The concept of parental alienation, which is highly controversial, is being described as one in which children strongly attach to one parent and reject the other in the false belief that he or she is bad or dangerous.
"It's heartbreaking," says William Bernet, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and professor at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, "to have your 10-year-old suddenly, in a matter of weeks, go from loving you and hiking with you...to saying you're a horrible, ugly person." These aren't kids who simply prefer one parent over the other, he says. That's normal. These kids doggedly resist contact with a parent, sometimes permanently, out of an irrational hate or fear.
Bernet is leading an effort to add "parental alienation" to the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the American Psychiatric Association's "bible" of diagnoses, scheduled for 2012. He and some 50 contributing authors from 10 countries will make their case in the American Journal of Family Therapy early next year. Inclusion, says Bernet, would spur insurance coverage, stimulate more systematic research, lend credence to a charge of parental alienation in court, and raise the odds that children would get timely treatment.
But many experts balk at labeling the phenomenon an official disorder. "I really get concerned about spreading the definition of mental illness too wide," says Elissa Benedek, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Ann Arbor, Mich., and a past president of the APA. There's no question in her mind that kids become alienated from a loving parent in many divorces with little or no justification, and she's seen plenty of kids kick and scream all the way to the car when visitation is enforced. But, she says, "this is not a mentally ill child"...
In any case, divorcing parents should be aware that hostilities may seriously harm the kids. Sometimes manipulation is blatant, as with parents who conceal phone calls, gifts, or letters, then use the "lack of contact" as proof that the other parent doesn't love the child. Sometimes the influence is more subtle ("I'm sure nothing bad will happen to you at Mommy's house") or even unintentional ("I've put a cellphone in your suitcase. Call when everyone's asleep to tell me you're OK")...
"The long-term implications [of alienation] are pretty severe," says Amy Baker, director of research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection in New York and a contributing author of Bernet's proposal. In a study culminating in a 2007 book, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, she interviewed 40 "survivors" and found that many were depressed, guilt ridden, and filled with self-loathing. Kids develop identity through relationships with both their parents, she says. When they are told one is no good, they believe, "I'm half no good."
Now 23, divorced, and a parent herself, Anne has recognized only recently that she was manipulated, that her long-held view of her father isn't accurate. They live 2,000 miles apart but now try to speak daily. "I've missed out on a great friendship with my dad," she says. "It hurts."
Lyon did a pretty good job with the article but her assertions about Parental Alienation and the American Psychological Association are incomplete. She wrote "The American Psychological Association has issued a statement that 'there is no evidence within the psychological literature of a diagnosable parental alienation syndrome.'" Yet the APA has given mixed messages on PAS--to learn more, click here.
The controversy over Parental Alienation is largely political. Children are vulnerable and impressionable, and parents in emotionally-charged divorces are quite capable of using them as tools of their anger. It is true that family courts must weed out false claims of PA made by abusive or manipulative parents. It is also true that courts must act decisively to protect children from the emotional abuse inflicted by alienating ones.
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November 2nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I can't help being doubtful of the value of PAS being recognized as a mental illness.
We already have many laws and many prescriptions of personality disorders and mental illnesses that are ignored if the subject is a mother. Even female murderers of fathers retain custody of children after their pitifully short sentences (that's presuming they do any time).
The problem isn't one of there not being enough law, but of existing law not being applied equitably. Until that is addressed, don't expect PAS to be of any assistance to any man wanting better access to his children - it will more likely be used against men to deny them them access, with courts only taking PAS seriously if the complainant is a mother.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
MC, it is encouraging to see a group of 50 mental health experts collectively recognizing this problem. If not only for the fathers, but clearly for the best interests of the children.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Menscollegeactivist,” it is encouraging to see a group of 50 mental health experts collectively recognizing this problem. If not only for the fathers, but clearly for the best interests of the children.”
It is very encouraging to say the least…
I am a divorce woman, mother and grandmother - http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3807
I had no idea that this type of “misguided” parenting behavior existed until I met my partner in 2005.
Sadly, now I know far too well that it is real, it is happening and it is a devastating form of emotional child abuse! How sad for our children, all innocent children…
Parental alienation (PA) and hostile aggressive parenting (HAP) is most apparent in child-custody disputes and is used most often as a tool to align the child with one of the parents during litigation over custody and access.
People who have never personally experienced PA or HAP have a difficult time comprehending the reality of its existence and the devastating consequences of this parenting behavior.
In my opinion, educating divorcing parents is in the best interest of the children.
______________________________________________________________________
What You Need to Know About Parental Alienation
Conference Workshop
http://www.cspas.ca/toronto.shtml
My partner and I attended the Conference on Sunday October 18, 2009 and WOW!
All presenters were amazing and so informative. If only my partner and I had known about these types of educational “parenting” workshops four years ago... We could have saved ourselves a lot of emotional, mental and financial pain, excruciating pain.
My only wish is that some day this type of educational “parenting” workshop be mandatory in order to pursue a divorce in Canada when there are children 12 years old or under involved in the divorce.
Maybe then, divorcing parents would put their vindictiveness, jealousy and bitterness aside for the sake of their children and not infringe on their Children’s Human Right to have a loving, unhindered relationship with both of their parents.
Maybe then, divorcing parents would come to realize the devastating consequences to “misguided” parenting choices such as; forcing their child to choose loyalties, making the child feel bad if the child enjoyed time during a visit with the other parent, forcing the child to lie, forcing the child to spy, in order to report back every detail of the child’s visit with the targeted parent...
Maybe then, divorcing parents will be better educated and equipped to deal with parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting behaviours and its devastating emotional and mental harm of innocent children.
Maybe then, divorcing parents will act “In the Best Interest of the Child” (BIC) and our innocent children will have a loving, unhindered relationship with both of their parents.
Maybe then, divorcing parents will come to realize that Canada’s adversarial; “winner take all” approach in this profoundly broken and shamefully flawed Family Law System of ours is not working “In the Best Interest of the Child” and urgently needs a complete overhaul.
Maybe then, divorcing parents will presumably have equal (physical) parenting time after divorce or separation which is in deed in the Best Interest of the Child. (Accept in proven cases of abuse)
Maybe then, equal shared parenting will be law!
Maybe then, parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting would no longer be an issue in divorce!
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:16 am
We also have what is called Legal Abuse Syndrome http://www.legalabusesyndrome.org/
This can be caused by a corrupt family court experience. Sometimes victims can be found carrying around a suitcase full of legal papers for twenty yeas or so hopping that somebody will come along to fix the mess and bring them justice
I have some more ideas...
Government abuse syndrome: Mental illness caused by a corrupt and abusive government.
Shell Shocked Deadbroke Non-Custodial Parent Syndrome: Mental illness caused by a court order for a child support award that the non custodial parent can never hope to pay. This mental illness get's worse the deeper into dept they fall. Driver's license and professional license suspension and bank / wage garnishments some times push the non-custodial over the edge literally resulting in suicide.
No Bruise Domestic Violence VAW syndrome: For some reason this syndrome only seems to effect men. This mental illness is caused when a man's female lover calls 911 and the police show up and arrest the man even though there are no bruises or injuries for that matter on the female. This syndrome sometimes causes a disassociation with reality in the real victim who in this case is the man.
I could go on and on and on and on and on and on.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:38 am
So what is the solution?
My brother is facing this crossroad - a one night stand last year resulted in a son.
She said being from a broken home is the best thing that ever happened to her - she can do it alone, does not want him around. She names the baby after Britney Spears kid, her suicided father and step brother - and her last name.
Two months after the baby is born, she calls crying it's too difficult. Wants money.
Doesn't want to take him to court. He's allowed to have the baby two weekends before she demands more money. Then MORE money.
Her mother curses, her brother threatens to beat him up if he doesn't cough up money for groceries.
Then she served court papers. Friends are calling she has asked them to testify he is an alcoholic. None will.
He doesn't see the baby again for 4 months.
DNA confirms it's his.
Baby is now 10 months old. Informal court arrangement for child support. Neither have attorneys. Her unemployed mother gets the tax write off. He was allowed to see him another two alternate weekends - she called to say the baby has swine flu after the last visit - she hopes his sister's newborn doesn't get it.
He is ordered by the Judge not to drink around the child because she says he drinks. Her mother seems to be running the show - knows all the ins and outs from her own divorce experience. She stayed after the hearing for a private 'chat' with the Judge.
A letter came in the mail yesterday accusing him of not changing the baby's diaper or cleaning his nose. She's 'concerned' for his health. The baby cries and wants to be held after visits - she says it's because he must be sleeping with the child, even though she was shown the separate room and crib he set up.
She's now apparently hired an attorney, who called his work asking for his social security number. She left messages for him to call. I've never heard of an opposing attorney directly calling. He hasn't called back.
He was put through a false accusation ordeal in high school she must not know about yet, since she's trying to accuse him of being an alcoholic.
He's thinking he'll be forced to sign away his rights and never the baby again.
He hasn't had much time with the baby, but he seemed to really care for him.
He's sure she'll teach the baby to hate him. He doesn't want to walk away but if the first 10 months are like this, what is in store the next 17 years?
Any advice anyone?
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:35 am
... now 23, divorced, and a parent herself, Anne has recognized only recently that she was manipulated, that her long-held view of her father isn't accurate ...
and, that (grand)mother government & PAS continuously are also to blame for the divorce and transgenerational defathering of the (grand)child ..
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Crossing my fingers on this one.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
Please do place this message which is essential and thus very relevant. Divorce is PAS, divorce is mostly not childinterest, also 4 days a month is childabuse (defathering, parents have the duty to take care of children, this also an obligation to respect each others natural parents rights), besides womens rights over othermens lives are never normal, they are inconsistent and inhuman, nevertheless: equality is justice!
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I wonder how it would be diagnosed. Would it be listed as the alienated parent and child were targets of parental alienation or would it be listed as the alienating parent has some sort of ailment therefore they should not be held responsible for the damage they did to the child and other parent.
In short I don't want Parental Alienation to be listed in such a manner that alienating parents would have yet another tool to rip a dad out of a child's life. I can hear it now, "I have a mental illness! I didn't realize that I was pushing him out of the kids' lives!"
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Parental Alienation Syndrome and Munchauser syndrome are key failures in mothers, but they are women so no one can question them.
PD: lack of accountability in fathers rigths visitations are a big problem too.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I really can't understand how NOW can be so blind to this dilemma within our society. I help run an organization that concerns themselves with such issues, and we have had a number of women who have come to us who endure exactly the same that so many men do. How can an organization that claims to stand up for rights of women, so blindly cast aside those of their constituency who endure the same hatred and animosity?
I really don't believe that the issue is a gender one. Both men and women can be affected by this issue.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm
This how bankrupt the NOW feminist VAWA movement's intellect is. They want to argue over definitions which are only constructs that all parties agree upon. PA is something observed for both sexes. A name for PA is simply a description for an intellectual or legal dialogue. Reminds me of Clinton's, "What the meaning of is is."
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Ian Mitchell wrote: "I really can't understand how NOW can be so blind to this dilemma within our society. I help run an organization that concerns themselves with such issues, and we have had a number of women who have come to us who endure exactly the same that so many men do. How can an organization that claims to stand up for rights of women, so blindly cast aside those of their constituency who endure the same hatred and animosity?
I really don't believe that the issue is a gender one. Both men and women can be affected by this issue."
Unfortunately, due to the gender disparity when it comes to custody, women are more in a position to benefit from arguing against the existence of parental alienation. Apparently, parents and schools and other programs can teach children just about anything, but in the minds of those with a vested interest - apparently, parents can't teach their children to hate their ex-spouse.
Until such time as custody is primarily SHARED or the scales tips so far in favor of fathers regarding custody that they have primary or sole custody 80% or more of the time - mothers will be the predominant alienators.
As such, NOW has a vested interested in pretending things like this don't happen. A significant financial interest for their organization and their constituents. The few women who suffer as a result of alienating fathers are just collateral damage. NOW doesn't need those women.
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
I have:
DVusedinadivorceproceedingasacustodytactichavenotseenmykidsintwoyearssyndrome.
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Interesting article from the NYT which, believe it or not, highlights the benefits that fathers have in a child's upbringing.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/03/health/03dads.html?_r=1
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
NOW is a special interest group. Their job is advocating for women not advocating for fairness or equality. They only use such phrases because it sounds better than the reality. They will never change their position, even when the facts or science support otherwise.
November 4th, 2009 at 1:55 am
NOW does not advocate for 'women'. They advocate for women that meet their own self interests.
While attending college on my GI bill, a NOW advocate came to speak to our Poly Sci class about the 'unfairness' of veteran's preference points. This was shortly after Viet Nam ended, and there were many male vets in the class.
Women were losing out to men in Police and Fire department jobs because of veteran's preference points, and that was terribly unfair according to her.
I timidly raised my hand and told her I was a veteran, and a woman -was it not 'unfair' to take away something promised to all who served?
"Everyone know women go in the service to get married" was her tart reply.
I've never cared for NOW . Not then. Not now.
November 4th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
.....We already have many laws and many prescriptions of personality disorders and mental illnesses that are ignored if the subject is a mother.....
Yes exactly.
We already HAVE enough laws.
It's when they get ignored, overruled, and set aside that the troubles begin.
We are suppose to have concepts like equal protection under the law, right to confront your accuser, civil rights in the civilized world.
The so called "best interest of the child" view allows the courts to ignore the foundations of our society. They can then do whatever they'd like.
Just treat each person the same, whether they are male or female would help immensely.
November 4th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Danny - I believe it would exist in the same spectrum as Munchausen by proxy. That is, it would be a recognized pattern of behavior but not a mental illness.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
[...] Group of 50 Mental Health Experts Pushing to Add Parental Alienation to DSM – Glennsacks.com In Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, Divorce, False Allegations of Domestic Violence, Family Rights, Liberty, Marriage, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, parental alienation on November 5, 2009 at 2:20 am Group of 50 Mental Health Experts Pushing to Add Parental Alienation to DSM [...]
November 6th, 2009 at 8:17 am
After reading this article I went over to Collin’s website and sure enough she posts a (very) long diatribe decrying PA as something only abusive men use. I don’t know if either of the other cases Glenn referred to have websites, if anyone knows please post. What she says is obviously written by a child who hasn’t come to terms with reality and her obsessive mantra is just one example.
I’ve read many stories where these womens groups use the fact that PA is not listed in the DSM so ergo it doesn’t exist. They should remember that PTSD was only recently added, coincidently this is an illness many of these supposedly victims use all the time.
It’s interesting some of these women claim PA is some kind of made up tactic used by abusers, Collins certainly does. What’s also interesting is she writes about what she calls Domestic Violence by Proxy which isn’t listed in the DSM. What’s good for the goose obviously ISN’T good for the gander.
http://americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/