Some Wisdom from a Former Student
January 11th, 2007 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesA former student of mine (circa 1995, when I was teaching high school here in Los Angeles) sent me an interesting blog entry on man-bashing on TV and in life from blogger Violent Acres. Her post is Is Gender Neutral (1/10/07), and is posted below. My favorite section is this one:
"Men might be a little insecure about their parenting techniques, but I’m willing to bet that’s only because women are always watching them with critical eyes quick to judge. If my brother-in-law makes one false move with his infant son, my Sea Donkey of a sister-in-law is quick to snap, 'Just give him to me!' Then she’ll look at me, shake her head, and sigh. How is it possible that men can be so stupid?
"Well, b**ch, if you gave the guy half a f***ing chance, maybe he’d get the hang of this whole parenting thing.
"And fiscal responsibility? Go look up the price of a Coach purse and then tell me which sex is more likely to blow large quantities of money on stupid sh*t."
"I like men.
"But more than that, most of my experiences with men have been positive. I had a close relationship with my father. The majority of my ex boyfriends were nice guys who treated me well. My husband and my brother are my two best friends.
"Nowhere in my past lurks a sleazy uncle with wandering hands who begged me to sit on his lap just a little bit longer. When I murmured, 'This isn’t right' while making out with my date, he stopped instantly; I’ve never left an apartment with tear stained cheeks while some douche screamed from his doorway, 'Baby, you wanted it!' In the workplace, I’ve never felt particularly discriminated against and my pay was competitive with my male counterparts. There is no ‘incident’ lurking in my background where I realized, once and for all, that men were evil beings intent on dominating and controlling me.
"I guess that’s why I can’t get on board with all this male bashing that’s becoming quite popular nowadays.
"Normally, I would never recommend this, but turn on your TV for a minute.
"Everybody Loves Raymond
The Simpsons
Family Guy
Still Standing
The King of Queens
Home Improvement
"What do all these televisions shows have in common? The Father figure in every one is a dolt, a hopeless baboon, a selfish jerk and a moron. If not for their fiscally responsible, shining examples of exemplary parenting, and brilliantly balanced wives, the family would certainty implode.
"Oh, give me a f***ing break.
"Men might be a little insecure about their parenting techniques, but I’m willing to bet that’s only because women are always watching them with critical eyes quick to judge. If my brother-in-law makes one false move with his infant son, my Sea Donkey of a sister-in-law is quick to snap, 'Just give him to me!' Then she’ll look at me, shake her head, and sigh. How is it possible that men can be so stupid?
"Well, b**ch, if you gave the guy half a f***ing chance, maybe he’d get the hang of this whole parenting thing.
"And fiscal responsibility? Go look up the price of a Coach purse and then tell me which sex is more likely to blow large quantities of money on stupid sh*t.
"Qualities like selfishness and idiocy are pretty gender neutral, as well, so why are we strictly harping on the masculine mistakes? When did it become trendy and cool to treat men, as a whole, like they’re retarded fuck ups hell bent on destruction? Are woman so insecure about their self worth that they need to constantly put their partners down to feel that their place in the family unit is secure?
"Most of all, I wonder if my experiences with men have been mainly positive because I don’t treat them with disgust, suspicion or disdain. True equality cannot exist when one party is constantly being portrayed at superior to the other party. Men will quit being the enemy when you start treating them like friends.
"Now….turn off that f***ing TV."
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January 11th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
In Spielberg's version of War of The Worlds, Tom Cruise plays a divorced man. When his ex-wife, played by Julianne Moore, drops off the children, she marches into his domicile with her new, wealthy husband in tow, in order to inspect his refrigerator and comment about the lack of milk. The father tells his daughter played by Dakota Fanning to order the dinner by phone.
If he's not the greatest cook in the world, and he doesn't make the pony tail as good as her mother does, so what.
The father risks his life and saves his daughter from the aliens and he makes the right choice in letting his older son fend for himself.
January 16th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
If the wife says: "Just give him to me!,’ go to the library and get a book on parenting -- like Baby and Child Care by Dr. Benjamin Spock. It was one of the bestselling books of the 20th century and covers virtually everything you need to know. Read it. Next time something happens with the baby and the wife says 'Just give him to me!’, say 'I'll handle it' and handle it. That is what fathers do.