Dissident Domestic Violence Experts Announce Ground-Breaking Conference: 'From Ideology to Inclusion'
May 30th, 2007 by Glenn Sacks, MA for Fathers & FamiliesAs I've noted on many occasions, the domestic violence establishment is not telling us the full truth about domestic violence, and many destructive family law and criminal law policies have been based on misinformation.
Research clearly establishes that women are frequently the aggressors in domestic combat, often employing the element of surprise and weapons to compensate for men's strength. Yet arrest and prosecution policies are stacked against men, as is the public dialogue on this important issue. Perhaps worst of all, misguided women's groups' distortion of the domestic violence issue has been the leading impediment to passing shared parenting legislation.
Last year dozens of leading authorities in the domestic violence field formed the National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center (NFVLRC) to change the domestic violence system. The NFVLRC advocates for non-discriminatory and evidence-based policies and seeks to correct the many damaging laws and policies which have been based on misleading claims.
NFVLRC co-founder John Hamel, LCSW, a court-certified batterer treatment provider and author of the book Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse, explains:
"The founding members of NFVLRC have recognized for some time that current polices are politically driven rather being based on scientifically sound information, and are seeking to change them. As a result of flawed policies, many children are being denied the same range of services simply because of their victimized parent's gender. Current policies have in many instances also resulted in a loss of civil liberties, and research indicates that they have sometimes resulted in increased danger to victims...NFVLRC believes that unless domestic and family violence policies are reformed, victims, children and future generations will continue to suffer from this social problem."
Last year over 50 of these authorities signed a letter urging the California legislature to stop the state's policy of excluding male victims and their children from domestic violence services.
The NFVLRC has just announced their upcoming conference--"From Ideology to Inclusion: Evidence-Based Policy and Intervention in Domestic Violence." The conference will be held Friday/Saturday, February 15-16, 2008 in Sacramento, California. Topics for the conference include: Use and Misuse of Restraining Orders; Effects of Mandatory Arrest Laws; Interventions in Disputed Child Custody Cases; Male Victims; Female Perpetrators; Power and Control in the DV Industry; Limitations of the Patriarchal Paradigm; Gender-Inclusive Interventions; and numerous others.
Many of the leading authorities in the domestic violence field will be speaking at the conference. These include: Erin Pizzey, founder of one of the world's first battered women's shelters in 1971; author and psychologist Don Dutton, who served as a domestic violence expert on the prosecution team in the OJ Simpson trial; Linda Mills, PhD, LCSW, JD, New York University; Murray Straus, PhD, of the University of New Hampshire; clinical psychologist Jennifer Langhinrichsen-Rohling of the University of South Alabama; Philip Cook, author of Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence; Janet Johnston, PhD; forensic psychologist Dr. Tonia Nicholls; Marlene Moretti, PhD, coauthor of the book, Girls and Aggression: Contributing Factors and Intervention Principles; Miriam Ehrensaft Ph.D, of the Division of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, at Columbia University; Nicola Graham-Kevan, BSc, PhD, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Central Lancashire [UK]; and numerous others.
To donate to help support the Conference, click here.To learn more about the National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center, visit their website at www.nfvlrc.org. To contact them, write to John Hamel by clicking here.
The conference is geared towards professionals who deal with the domestic violence issue in the mental health, family law, and criminal justice fields. Continuing education credits are available for LCSW’s, MFT’s, PhD’s, Batterer Intervention Providers and Family Court Mediators/Evaluators. MCLE credits are available for attorneys. Conference co-sponsors are the Family Violence Treatment & Education Association (www.FAVTEA.com) and the California Alliance for Families and Children (www.cafcusa.org).
To learn more about problems with the domestic violence system, see:
- My co-authored column Texas Bill to Create Domestic Violence Offender Registry Will Harm Innocent Men (Austin American-Statesman, 4/11/07)
- My co-authored column CA Legislators Vote to Protect Pets from Domestic Violence but Deny Services to Male DV Victims (Long Beach Press-Telegram, 4/21/07)
- My co-authored column Simpson Case Led to Harmful Domestic Violence Policies (Riverside Press-Enterprise, 12/5/06)
- My co-authored column Letterman Case Shows Problems with Restraining Orders (Albuquerque Tribune, 1/17/06)
-
My column VAWA Renewal Provides Opportunity to Stop Destruction of
Innocent Cops' Careers (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, 7/19/05) -
My column Domestic Violence Treatment Policies Put Abused Women in Harm's
Way (Daily Breeze [Los Angeles], 11/7/05) -
My co-authored column Brett Myers Case Obscures an Important Truth About Domestic Violence Arrests (Delaware County Daily Times [Philadelphia], 8/2/06)
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My co-authored column Domestic Violence Lawsuit Will Help Secure Services for All
Abuse Victims (Los Angeles Daily Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 12/28/05) -
My column Domestic Violence Series Substitutes Emotion for Facts (San Francisco
Chronicle, 4/8/05) -
My column New Report on Maternal Homicide Crisis: Myth-Making and Manbashing (Lexington Herald-Leader, 1/3/05)
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May 30th, 2007 at 10:53 am
The organizers are contributing lots of unpaid time and borrowig money to put this groundbreaking conference together. Any donations at all, even small ones, would really help them.
May 30th, 2007 at 10:53 am
I hope everyone donates something to this worthy group. If everyone donated $25 to this group they would be far more effective.
Confirmation Number: 9HV32934W2297094K - I do what I can I hope others consider it as well.
May 30th, 2007 at 11:01 am
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May 30th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
This kind of action is worthy of our support -- and greatly needed.
May 30th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Thank you for the reading on support fathers. keep it coming.
May 30th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I've seen statements such as this one a number of times concerning CA's legislature.
"Last year over 50 of these authorities signed a letter urging the California legislature to stop the state's policy of excluding male victims and their children from domestic violence services. "
I don't understand. How can a federal or state law or policy be enacted that specifically supports one gender over another? Where are the discrimination lawsuits? Is there some way to use Title IX or something similar?
Is it a monetary issue? A legal issue? Both? If so, what organizations are available to which we can donate specifically to go for legal precedents that can be used to further our cause? I hate lawsuits and the like as much as the next guy, but much of the reason why the women's movement has been so successful is by using the power of the court and the desire of judges to legislate from the bench. Something that is such a blatant discriminatory policy should be challengeable in court.
May 31st, 2007 at 10:06 am
First of all, I was married for 15 years and the only "physical" event was when the ex wife slugged me once. She is a second degree black belt and she slugged me and I just walked away. One of our major issues was that she wanted to fight and admittedly did her best to piss me off and i wouldn't go there. I'm a negotiator by career, and not a fighter. In my experience as a family therapist/crisis counselor (dealing with families in a crisis situation), I have seen both sides of the domestic violence debate and often the women are the aggressors, especially when drinking/drugging. Granted, men need to just leave, but if wife/girlfriend wants to get revenge, all she has to do is call the police and file for a protective order and its almost a done deal, even for an innocent man. My ex tried that and her claims were so wierd that no ex-parte order was done (said I was poisoning their food after breaking into the house-a house with new locks and changed security codes! The "their" was her and our daughter who I was a stay home dad with until she started full time school).
Also, in my experience, both men and women need to learn to just get over the lost relationships and don't include the kids in the middle or as pawns to get back at one another. That is a whole "nuther" issue but one very close to my heart.
On both issues, in therapy I'll rip the aggressor and also the responder if he/she continues the fight, especially a physical one. And yes, women do use "equalizers" in a fight.
If I knew a good way to fix the system of this kind of mess, I sure would. I see both sides and its a huge mess. I certainly believe that actual perpetrators of violence need to be punished, but that goes both ways. Had I taken my ex to court, they would have laughed me out of there, but she could probably have broken every bone in my body had she wanted to. That's the issue men have most of the time...no one believes they can be the victim. I don't believe in physical violence for any reason. And for those who might say "boy this guy is a wimp"..............I play soccer several times a week and am very rough when i do it. Very lucky for being 55 and able to keep doing this. Definitely am not wimpy. Just don't believe in hitting a woman, even if she is the aggressor.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:51 am
Hi Harry...Interesting points. Thanks for the perspective.
Incidentally, as a dictionary definition feminist/masculinist, I don't share your aversion to hitting women just because they are women. After all, as you say, they will use equalizers and equalizers by definition negate any special treatment they can expect. Of course, I also don't believe in hitting anyone out of anything other then self defense.
Thankfully, I haven't had much of a problem with violent women in my adult life: most have been as gentle-natured as I am. Perhaps that is because everyone I have dated knows from day one that I am a dictionary definition feminist and that they can't hide behind the standard "I can do anything I want to you and you have to take it like a man and not hit a girl" mentality that has become pervasive in our culture. After all, women have shown themselves to be capable of just as much violence as men, and a quick look around YouTube will show just how violent they can be to unsuspecting, over-chivalrous males.
They also know that I am not a violent person and that I never instigate violence on anyone as I think violence is a cop out. It is also difficult to goad me into violence and I need to see a clear and present danger to myself or someone I love before I respond. If she attempts to use an "equalizer" - all bets are off as that crosses a line. But I also don't push the subject as I believe in a defensive mentality: break your opponent's attack, limit unnecessary lethal/damaging responsive force, and get the hell away.
I'm certainly not advocating violence against women or anyone else for that matter. It is simply a case of self preservation: in my opinion, quaint chivalry has no place when defending yourself or those you love. Unfortunately, the problem with the current system is even if a man responds in self defense, he will be the assumed aggressor whether true or false and my pro-equality beliefs could get me in trouble one day. Thankfully, I'm also not a "big guy" so most women I am with (including my wife) are not that much smaller then I am so hopefully I would be less likely to be considered a bully. I guess if I go into a situation expecting violence, perhaps the best thing I can do is to have a micro-cassette recorder in my pocket!
Incidentally, I too would probably not be considered a wimp: I have been a heavy-swordsman since HS, and I spent years in karate.
June 1st, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I think Harry and Lance are missing a point. Violence usually comes after other forms of bad treatment -- such as cutting a person off friends and family, insults and putdowns. The time to stop bad treatment is at the first stages by deciding you are entitled to be treated well and not allowing any bad treatment. If you wait until there is violence -- YOU have set the bar far too low on what you are willing to accept. I coach men on this and wrote a book called "Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants" about how men have a duty to be strong and decide how things are going to be in your home. Woman want the man to set the standards at home. If you think you're being a nice guy laughing off her insult, you're wrong -- she despises you for allowing her to treat you badly. Divorced men have told me they would probably not be divorced if they had read the book.
June 2nd, 2007 at 12:39 am
Elliott - Male empowerment is a subject that is sorely lacking in our culture today - I couldn't agree more. As I have opened my eyes, I see it every day: in the media, in education, even in business. Our gender is increasingly relegated to second class "Neanderthal status", and unfortunately every time we protest the issue, we are branded (often by other men!) as anti-female. Interestingly, women dealt with analogous issues in the 20th century. In that case instead of being considered Neanderthals, they were considered to be infantile and weak. Often when the visionaries of their time protested, their biggest opponents were other women!
As women have (rightfully) gained in strength, for some reason men have been diminished. I think part of this is due to programming: men, perhaps out of some sort of misguided chivalry, somehow feel that each of us must give a piece of our strength to make up for years of "abuse" and torture. I can remember in the 80's when I was in MS and HS, even then I was being programmed to believe that men were the sole cause of all of the world's woes and that I couldn't be proud to be male. I can only imagine what our sons must be going through now!
A second reason is that men don't want to appear (or admit) weakness. As you state, many men do this every day with their wives and families, but in "laughing off" the insults etc we feel that we are showing strength - we are showing that we can take it. My favorite of these, again not to focus on violence, is the humor men seem to find in watching other men be struck in the groin. The reaction seems to be found particularly humorous when the one doing the striking is a woman. I personally find "groin bashing" for laughs to be purely distasteful and akin to rape. Now imagine reversing these roles and see how many of these same men will protest that no one should kick a girl - even though a moment before they found it completely acceptable for that same girl to kick the man.
A third reason for this diminishment seems to be human nature. Humans (or perhaps the media) have a tough time understanding or reconciling duality: people are either good or evil, liberal or conservative, etc.. This "you're either with us or against us" mentality is undermining the male empowerment movement from within and without. We are told, often by a supposedly impartial media, that if you don't believe X, Y, and Z then you can't possibly be a feminist and that empowerment of men must be undermining the power of women (ie: you can't empower both). So again: duality is confusing (especially in our media "enriched" world).
My sincere belief is that I can be both a masculinist and a feminist. Another way of putting it is simply a masculinist is a feminist with a male perspective (just as a feminist is a masculinist with a female perspective). Unfortunately, in accepting that I can be both I must often accept that I will succeed in making no one happy :)
June 3rd, 2007 at 7:01 am
Lance makes some good points. Laughing off an insult is not showing strength -- it is trying to avoid confrontation. To be strong, men have to show that they can set high standards of what is acceptable. We can stop being relegated to "Neanderthal" status by changing the way we act. If we think the only way for things to change is for the media, women, the government and the court system to change, we may be waiting a long time. If we are strong leaders in our homes and set high standards and accept nothing less, the world around us will change. Women respect and admire a man who is strong and doesn't take bad treatment from her. A woman will not respect someone who laughs when she insults him. Ask yourself: Do you respect someone who lets you treat him or her badly?
November 27th, 2007 at 7:21 am
I regularly send links from Glenn to my local NPR station.
National Public Radio is PUBLICLY funded and yet they ignore us most of the time and ridicule us the rest of the time.
I have had enough.
If NPR wont at least make our concerns known, we need to question whether they need to be funded.
I do not care if they agree with us (we do not even agree among ourselves), but i am tired of being ignored.
We are NOT gonna take it anymore!
Write to your congressperson and let em know how disapointed you are that we are so routinely ignored by NPR.
email NPR and tell them how mad you are that your issues and your concerns are so readily ignored and ridiculed......Its time to ttake this issue to the streets and the halls of congress (we dont need to fund our own demise and we shouldnt fund programs designed to ridicule us).....
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:34 am
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